3/17/19 journal

this is really strange ...

i feel like I have been motivated for so long by this inner frustration and a lack of self worth
like I had to accomplish something in order to feel good about myself

I have been doing a lot of meditating on this recently, trying to accept my self for who I am and feel worthy without having to accomplish anything ...

well ...
I guess it worked!

I don't have this chip on my shoulder anymore

I am scared that I will lose my ambition without this fire

what will fuel my actions
where will my drive come from??

well ...
today I felt this desire to create I just wanted to make things

I understand this a bit more clearly now

We all want to create
we all have this desire

but often our true desires are hidden by "attempts" to cajole fear / pain

without this pain, this fear of not being worthy, my true intentions and desires have the space to creep through

lets see where we go ??
yeahhhh