I Don't Want To Live On This Planet Anymore
Hiya folks! @lemony-cricket here, and I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
What on Earth are you kvetching about this time?
No, I'm serious. This isn't a post about how I am fed up with the latest cringey overreaction. It's not an expression of frustration at people who, having all their basic needs met by our technologically advanced society, must now spend their days searching for the next thing to find Problematic®.
Problematic® is a registered trademark of Tumblr and Oath, Inc.
I actually literally want to find another planet to live on, and it has nothing to do with how this place is filled with people who have forgotten what it's like to have real fucking problems. I can deal with the fact that people are now crying foul about cartoon rabbits doing cartoon rabbit things.
It sounds like it is about that stuff, though.
You're not paying attention. I said this had nothing to do with the rabbit thing.
What rabbit thing?
Ugh. I don't want to talk about it. I wanted to talk about how I can't wait to colonise Mars. I wanted to lay out my blueprints for our escape from this dump heap we've made, so we can go on and find the next place to ruin. Wouldn't you rather hear about how some Internet nerd can't wait to leave its forever-alone life on Earth behind for a lifetime of space adventures?
No.
Don't you want to hear my dreams of space stations? My opinions on Dyson spheres? We could talk about the growing confidence in the feasibility of warp drives, the likelihood of contact with a superior but benevolent alien race...
Nope. The rabbit thing.
Fine. The rabbit thing it is, then. The rabbit thing is.... this:
Embedded from YouTube: "'Peter Rabbit' Allergy Scene Slammed", ET Canada (fair use)
What the hell?
Precisely. What the hell indeed, dear reader. What the hell, indeed.
In case you don't feel like watching a video today, I'll sum up the situation. In this family-friendly action-comedy adaptation of Beatrix Potter's The Tale of Peter Rabbit, the mischievous rabbits are attempting to defend themselves from certain death at the hands of one Farmer McGregor.
It is at this point that the rabbits decide to take advantage of his blackberry allergy by launching one straight into his mouth and sending him into anaphylactic shock, foiling his plan to murder them in cold blood. He soon finds relief from his Epi-Pen. Crisis averted, right? Unless you're these guys:
Screenshot taken from Change.org
Allergy bullying? An innocent allergic individual? The guy spends half the movie trying to murder the rabbits with gardening implements. Now, will someone please, please fire up the rockets? I've got places to be. Quickly. 🍋
How to get an upvote from me today: Do you agree that the recreationally offended have gone too far? Think they actually have a point? Share my dreams of leaving this world behind? Think I'm an insensitive prick? All comments are welcome.
I just can't believe someone is actually debating about that smart rabbit!
+it was the same thing with the Dove commercial... too much attention to people without anything to do but to search for something to blame on the --- have no idea who, the world?
Speaking of world, you rocked mine tonight! Never thought of reading about Dyson's spheres... Cracked me there so nice - I even had to shout on general about it :)
What Dove commercial? Did I miss something? Uh-oh. I'm not going to like this, am I?
Thank you for your kind words. Upvotes are wonderful, but I write for my readers, so thank you. <3
I've been actively ignoring the world around me lately; normally thats because of work, but since thats been kicked in the pants I've had plenty of free time... but like I said I've been actively ignoring the world at large in favour of drinking beer and watching Shakespeare with good ol' Gary!
So it really didn't come as that much of a shock when I DID in fact look out my window (or into my phone as it were), and flick on the radio that I heard about this damnable rabbit in almost the SAME breath as the Florida shooting.
Now I understand that the Florida shooting IS something worth talking about, its unfortunate that we HAVE to keep talking about it because they keep happening so often. I was upset it was mentioned alongside this bloody rabbit... I've got Honours in Broadcasting just collecting dust because its a young man's game these days ol' Radio... but that newscast came from a station that I KNOW the News Director of... I'd have been beaten with my copy if I made a news cast with those two stories in succession... Talk about ruining any sense of importance or intent of message...
"WE go now from the horrors of one cartoon rabbits private war on the allergic population to equally despairing events in Florida, wherein we examine one students misuse of the term 'Bullet Points!' But first SPORTS!"
But yea, @lemony-cricket save me a seat on the next jump to Mars will ya?
Right? There are so many actual problems to worry about.
I just can't process these attempts to manufacture issues to fit their agenda when I am having a hard enough time processing the bending of actual tragedies to do the same. As @kryptik said... what the literal fuck? (That's a good one. I'm stealing it.)
Oh god. You went there. I'm glad my sick sense of humour has some company here on Steemit.
I did go there... had too... We had this radio station in Canada back in the day... learned about them in school. The way those guys read and wrote their news stories; I never forgot it. This whole clip is excellent, but for the sake of your humour go to 4:38.
Thanks for sharing this-- learned something new and fascinating today. I nearly fell out of my chair at the thing the one guy almost got fired for :)
Kind of comes full circle with the people bitching about it, saying they went too far... who are these people trying to ruin all the fun for the rest of the world?
Fuck them! I want to hear this sort of shit on my morning news!
Well for 10 billion smeckles I might have a solution for you!
I think children’s movies and tv shows are just too stupid to begin with. I’m not sure why anyone would allow their kids to watch the nonsense. I’ve had to watch a few whenever people bring their kids over. It’s like someone on drugs comes up with the stuff they watch. Its just insanity pure and simple.
I personally don’t care. I’m not sure how it even got such a rating in the first place with as you described so many attempts to murder with tools a rabbit. Does not sound like a good family friendly thing to take kids to in the first place.
Sorry, but you're not watching the right ones. This one, maybe! But have you seen Inside Out, for example? It's an absolutely beautiful personification of the human mind and the nature of memory. I was brought to tears, seriously.
When I watch movies, I actually prefer to watch the kids' ones. Everything else has too much drama. There is enough drama in the real world. I go to the movies to escape that stuff.
Despicable Me is my jam, yo.
I once had a friend who told me he could never watch Breaking Bad because it was to similar to his real life. All i have to say is that sucks your life is that filled with drama. I just can't stand kid movies even the ones you have mentioned. Not for me what so ever.
What a sourpuss. Begone from my blog, thou ill-tempered kitkat! Shoo! Hssst!
My eyes hurt from rolling so hard. THANKS @lemony-cricket!
But I got a few laughs before that.
I saw some stuff about the Peter Rabbit thing due to some YouTubers I follow and realized quite quickly that it's utter bullshit. If kids are going to bully someone over an allergy, I doubt that this film will contribute that much to it, unless the individual is seriously messed up in the head. One can argue that those that intentionally try to psychologically torture kids is actually fucked in the head, but I think that's a separate issue.
I look forward to a post actually about visiting other planets, and dyson speres, and artificial living habitats in space.
You're still not paying attention. This post is about those things. I just couldn't get you readers to focus.
It's all your fault, you know.
Yes, clearly. /sarcasm
Well you are a cricket what did you expect from the human race.
As a time traveling cat i would not know anything about those things. Good day.
Cat Facts:
Did you know that cats can actually walk through walls? They just choose to whine at the door to go inside or out so we have to get up. They like to make us do things.
What in the literal fuck?
If people had real danger in their life this rabbit non-sense wouldn’t exist.
What a bunch of cunts.
Precisely. It's ridiculous. I'm not a conservative person and I even cringed a bit at my own tumblr reference, because this is not usually the side I am on, to be honest. I'm no social justice warrior but I'm not a hateful asshole either.
But people are calling this shit ableist and that sort of stuff, and I'm sorry, but I just can't. There is a line, and it has been crossed.
Go find a near-death experience somewhere. I'm not telling you to jump off a bridge; I'm telling you to have someone push you off of one while you've been secretly tethered to the edge.
Then you'll see how little these nits you are picking really are.
Okay. I totally don't expect upvotes. They're to be given freely if you think my post is worth it.
That said, like, here you are begging for a vote, and you didn't even upvote my post? I'm not mad, I just find it hilarious.
I do not understand how people can worry about other people's problems. All that does not apply to a person directly, in 99 cases out of 100, is simply ignored.
To the moon. Who's with me?
Lol dude wtf, they are obviously overreacting, like, bugs bunny used to shoot Donald in the face! with a shotgun! But well, that doesn't mean that they doesn't have a point but damn, just chill for a minute.
And yeah, you probably are an insensitive prick but, who cares?