Reading the Past
Hello dear steemians, I hope you are well, I bring you an interesting content, I was reviewing my old things and I got myself a notebook of almost 8 years, a time that I lived youthful spite, I remember that I broke up with my first boyfriend, and I was very distressed, I think we have all gone through that one time, this was a notebook I decided to share with, but I decided to share here some of the things I write.
Crying doesn’t solve any of my problems, I feel like sinking into them. It is impossible to hold back the tears, only by thinking you come out unannounced, it is like a permanent pain in the soul, it is lodged there and does not want to leave. I know all this suffering is in vain, I never imagined it to be so, it can be humiliation or I just don’t love myself, but beyond all this,There is a void, in which I have fallen infinitely without being able to rise.
I have cried until I feel that I have no tears, I feel the emptiness in my heart and think that it is no longer in my body, I have shouted with all my strength your name, wanting to lose my voice to not pronounce it again, I’ve broken all your memories thinking I’ve forgotten, I can say I’ve lost the memory of so much that I think of you, and my dreams are nightmares since the day you infiltrated them.
I may weep for what one day I might have been, imagine a world full of colors, take care of me so much, perfect every mistake, that my life died out and did not blossom, I did not want to be exposed to pain, look for a thousand and one excuses not to fall in love, for fear of failing, all for nothing, but it was more painful to remain in the darkness and even more absolute loneliness.
Well it’s part of life and learning that lets us live those situations, some more painful than others, I vent myself writing since I was in high school, I still do it, it’s my way of draining and it’s worked for me.