It's A Blog
If you're just finding my blog, you might be wondering if all I ever do is bake and leave inspirational notecards everywhere I go. It might look that way. The reality is that I'm a stay at home mom of twins. And that ish is hard! I struggle with anxiety, depression and ptsd. My days are mostly filled with toddler tantrums, poopy diapers, making food and cleaning messes.
The only way I can keep myself sane is to find outlets for my pain and emotions. I don't often feel that letting myself stay in a dark place is helpful for me. Instead I like to express whatever emotion it is in a positive way. If possible. So far, the only things that have helped lessen the burden I feel are:
✨ Steemit
I have found a purpose here and I'm determined to contribute whatever I can to it.
✨ The notecard thing helps me cope with anxiety being out in public. The messages I write are usually more for myself, things I need to hear that day. Leaving them for others to find and possibly brighten their day, I'll never apologize for that. And I'll keep sharing when I do because it's important to set an example. Kindness is practiced. Kindness can be learned.
✨ Art
Making digital art helps me clear my head when the thoughts are too much. I share them with you because it's part of who I am.
✨ Baking
I'm damn good at baking. It calms me and plus, there's sugar.
These are the sorts of things you're gonna find on my blog. Along with seemingly random stuff. Like my progress with learning how to code, or my random challenge of the day. The random challenges are my way of getting to know the people who are reading my blogs. I don't get to spend as much time as I'd like reading other people's content, but I do try. I want to get to know all of you just as you're getting to know me by reading my stuff.
So, yup...
This week I've been struggling with trying to stay positive. My sleep has been wonky and I just feel tired. I think the rain might have something to do with my mood. I always get this way when we don't see the sun for a few days. I've been trudging along with my Google code challenge.
I haven't had much time to sit down and do the lessons, but so far I'm on lesson #3. There are 12 lessons to complete in 12 weeks, so I would say I'm going at a pretty good pace. I'm going to cut myself some slack and not beat myself up about it because I have made progress! Up until today, I had been sort of coding along with the video. Pausing the screen as the instructor typed a chunk of code and then manually typing it myself. Today I tried to see if I could write the correct code before I watched the video. At first, I couldn't. But a few lines in, it clicked. I finished the rest of the lesson successfully without looking at the answers first. That felt pretty good.
And now I have laundry to finish, dishes to put away and kids to pick up from preschool in about an hour. How is everyone else doing today?
Thanks for reading! Love and light...
@khackett, just found you. I appreciate your honesty. Looking forward to reading more :-)
Well thank you! 😊
Not seeing the sun always gets to me too, so I've always taken vitamin D supplements since being pregnant, which I know must help a bit.
We parents always power through somehow, even on extreme lack of sleep. You do so much, I hope you also get the downtime you need <3
I want to learn python too at some point, but my plate's too full at the moment, I'll definitely come ask you for recommendations when I'm ready :)
Wow, thanks for sharing. That takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable, so good for you to go for it!
I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that. Kids are a blessing, at least that's what my mom said many, many times (enough that as I think back about it, she probably was trying to convince herself. We were a handful.) Kids can also be a lot of work and if you're going through your own stuff, they can exacerbate it.
Good for you to cut yourself some slack, but don't wait for progress to do so. I can tell just from how you write that you're an authentic, caring, hard-working woman who tries her best in all she does. You're doing your best and that's awesome! Don't push yourself too hard. You're amazing!
Have a great day!
Thank you for your kind words. Sometimes I worry that maybe the content I'm producing is "too shiny" for some people. But then I have to remind myself that I'm not making this content for anyone but myself. No one needs to always see the cobwebs in the corners of my mind, I'd rather share the ways I worked through them. 😊
You are awesome @khackett I mean it, and I am are sure I am not the only that thinks that way, even if sometimes it is scary, you still move forward, and maybe you push yourself a little too hard sometimes.
Having hobbies is the best way to have fun and reduce the stress, but if you feel pressured by having too much to do, then you should make a pause and take rest. (oh sleeping it is important too you know)
I think you should talk with your husband about how you are feeling, and look for support in your family, I am sure they will be very willing to give you a hand, talking about it is the best medicine.
Best regards 😄
Sending you positive vibes 💓
It's interesting to know a little more about you @khackett and is to bad that you are going through so much trouble emotionally but it's good thing that you found a creative way to deal with them, personally I do not have much free time with work to have a blog, but I also liked this platform , it is best to take it easy so I made it some time at night. Thank for sharing, I only have 2 weeks reading you and I am still surprised by your honest.
I'm amazed with the struggle you went through it now, women are able to work on it without complaining, I know you share this burden so that you feel is missing (not complaining)
I want to see your works of art. :)
Thanks @khackett
I also find that steem has really helped me stay positive. It also is inspiring for me to write better. I am so horrible with grammar and steem makes me try harder. Making a little money also doesn’t hurt😉
We (my husband and I) have been a follower since our day 1 here in Steemit and instantly became a fan. Your blog has been my source of baking ideas and acts of kindess. Your little notes have helped me make through tough times too - I wish I were reading them in person and not on screen.
I pray for your anxiety and other you have to deal with to end. It's not easy. But, I believe you can overcome it because I feel you are a nice person.
Xoxo,
Jonah
Very good story, indeed life is not as we expected. When we have more thoughts or stress we may think we do not want to live in this world anymore. But all that is not true, every problem we face there must be a way out. Thanks and best regards to you we hope we can be friends and share each other... :)