RE: Blogging Around Day 69: The #Alliance is SEXIST!
You're right, the #Alliance is a group of amazing people, but family they are not. They treat you great until you voice a political stance that differs from their own and potentially damages their pocketbooks. After you cross that line, they toss you under the bus and treat you like shit. That's not how a family acts. A family works with differing opinions not wraps them into a bull shit flag war and slings mud at every point without restraining between two comments to make another insult.
That is creating extra toxicity in an already toxic environment.
As per not seeing any conclusions, call me an angry triggered SJW, but I believe some words hold a socio-political context that ought to be avoided. If you disagree, I know it is a minority opinion to be socially liberal on a platform dominated by anarcho-cappys and I respect your opinion. I disagree with them, but I can respect them.
I have never come across those things you talk about and I've been in this family since late August last year. I have always felt like I can speak my mind and always been respected an loved for who I am. That's why I joined in the first place the vision of family and acceptance for who you are.
I can't speak for others but for me it really is a family and I love the people in it.
I know it's impossible for everyone to have the same opinions in all things but as long as we respect each other that's what counts.
Im in it to stay and have met so many amazing people that has changed my life for the better. They are all in the family and that says it all to me anyway.
Not to mention, I simply didn't get any feeling of welcomeness even before we had any drama. During the Sunday chats, I always felt like it was more of a hangout of the core members and I didn't feel enouraged to speak and if I did, I felt I was either ignored or dismissed.
Again, that was my experience and I am glad that yours is different. The family is not for everyone and I have a certain abrasive personality that certainly didn't click well with them and I can truly recognize that. I'm not taking complete responsibility there, but it would be unfair to not mention it.
The manner in which you went after shoving the steemplus extension was but one small example of poor behaviour on your part. You didn't bother doing the intelligent thing and engaging in discussion about the features it had and how you found them making your life easier.
You approached it as, I like this and you should too. What's your problem that you aren't jumping right on this? ... it was only after some push back on your overbearing conduct that you even disclosed you had a vested interest in getting people interested in it. Any distrust at that point wasn't aimed at the developer, it was about you and how you had put people off from even being interested.
As for accusing @enginewitty of being sexist. At best that is grasping at straws. As a woman who has experienced and witnessed plenty of sexist behaviour in her time, the last thing that he is is sexist. As much as Corky's tone can be rough at times, he too is respectful of women. Interesting that I never got that same level or tone of respect from you.
Intentionally, or unintentionally, you present yourself as a self-serving, overbearing individual. It's not surprising that you are not welcome with open arms. Generally people like yourself become an acquired taste. I rather suspect thealliance is not the only place you have experienced that. It's not too late though, some self-awareness and willingness to adjust your behaviour would help you in the future.
That is really true @enginewitty is as far away from a sexist and he does nothing but support and being a true friend for us all and rather than being one I say he's more of a person that protects you from It. Best person there is and doesn't deserve to be treated badly.
Well written shadow couldn't say it better myself.
I just want to be clear that I never accused Justin of any sexism.
I never accused @enginewitty of being sexist. I accused SirCork of being sexist for using sexist language.
news flash genius... when you accuse thealliance of being sexist you are accusing enginewitty... sircork is a member not the owner.
news flash genius... if you want to make those leaps in logic, I won't stop you
My approach went sour because you guys started accusing a top 100 witness with MSP sponsorship and a highly respected steemian of attempted theft. That pissed me off. It wasn't about the extension, it is that you guys attacked a buddy of mine and I am very defensive.
no one accused your buddy of theft... you were taken to task for your high handed manner and lack of transparency and as per normal you twisted into bs to avoid taking any personal responsibility for your actions.
I believe the quote I remember was:
Nope, I also have issue with the SPL community for similar reasons. You had a witness that sponsors it that attacked MSP and MSP witnesses. If you attack someone I care about, you know I will be ready to defend them. That's not an issue with me, that's an issue of the attacker. You should have the dignity not to make baseless attacks against people. That's toxic and lends towards tribalism. I willingly left SPL because I didn't want to participate in an SPL vs MSP tribalism.
On the sneaky grumpy thing, the situation is that you have a someone having a conflict with someone you consider to be family, and you did not take the action of defense. Instead, you took the action of supporting the attacker by becoming an attacker yourself.
If there was a bully picking on my brother, and my brother and I got in a fight, I can't see any situation in which I would run to that bully for protection or retaliation...that's not how families deal with things.
And maybe that's the thing. Maybe you're not really interested in a family type environment. In order to be successful in such a situation, you have to be willing to be accepting of everybody as they are, even if you are a contrarian (which I sense you may be). Being a contrarian, you also have to express that acceptance a bit more than others because going at people the way you do cools relationships.
We are a group of vastly different and distinct individuals with vastly different views and beliefs. There are no rules regarding viewpoints on any subject that I know about. In fact, the only rule I know about is that we actively support each other to the best of our abilities. To be truthful, I'm not entirely sure how you feel about that requirement.
I didn't defend Grumpy's actions or really him until closer towards the end when I started noticing the slander wasn't stopping after many requests to stop spreading slander.
Even now, you describe @GrumpyCat in the same manner that has been used in a slime campaign I have seen oh too often. I was skeptical from the beginning, but the more you guys attack me for saying "Maybe we should use logic rather than slander" the more I am convinced that Grumpy isn't the "bully" you make him out to be and the real "bullies" are you guys that won't stop attacking him. Senseless nonstop slander. Not a trace of attempts to provides evidence of "bullying".
Maybe he is a bully and I haven't seen it. That is your responsibility to... habeas corpus? Show us the body of evidence? This is all I've seen:
Grumpy launches a political campaign against bid bot abuse by flagging their consumers. Sort of the same way people protest YouTube Advertisers to stop racism on the platform (Coke is YouTube's customers)
The campaign is successful as several bots already switch to the new policy which provides time for Grumpy to flag "Placeholder" posts
Michael gets flagged by Grumpy
Michael takes this policy as a personal act of theft and launches anti-Grumpy Campaign
All negative comments about Grumpy situation has been entirely by those that campaign against Grumpy.
Now, feel free to correct that timeline, but as far as I see, the real bully is the one that fails to use logic, replaces logic with emotional snags from people that were also flagged by Grumpy, and uses mob mentality to try silence anyone that tries to bring in a different perspective.
hey, now JP... careful there.
SPL doesn't have negative feelings or opinions about MSP, please be clear.
SPL doesn't but an SPL affiliated witness does.
SPL doesn't have a witness. There are a number of witnesses who are a part of our community, including @enginewitty, who - as individuals - have their own personal likes and dislikes. Please don't smear SPL with falsehoods, JP. This isn't right.
You're right, SPL doesn't have a witness. A witness is in SPL, holds mod privileges, gets endorsements from SPL, and heavily finances SPL / whoever shovels out 200 SBD.
It's sad you felt that way and I guess we are all different, but that is what I think is so great about #thealliance family as I belive its the diffences that makes us strong and the acceptans of each other and support. It's a big family and we can't be close to everyone but still show your support. I agree that the family isn't for everyone and I joined just cause of the reason it wasn't like any other but a family and I was blown away by the talents and amazing people in there. And I have always felt welcome from day one. Sad that you never felt welcome or included. Did you ever tried to say exactly how you felt? Tried to really get to know people for real? All I saw when you were in chat was all about unpersonal stuff and about profit etc... Never saw another side of you so I thought you were one of those that only cared about the money and how to get most out of different things. Actually I asked you once in chat about it but I don't know if you didn't se it or ignored me..... Mabye that can happen not attentionally but its easy to miss and doesn't mean you are being ignored. Make sence?
See? People got an entirely wrong perception of me, then when you have that initial interpretation of someone, anything else just feeds into that image. I can't help it if someone perceives me as a money groggy person and continues to get that impersonation because it is simply confirmed bias.
I did reach out to a few people and got to know them quite well or at least somewhat well and I love them a lot. @Moeknows and (I would have to search through my resteems to find the others but one of them always posts a sketch of himself in comments. He was dope) but I never felt the server was a good place to do this. It was a lot easier to find people on the platform.
I believe this is because of something you mentioned. The family is getting too big. This is just a facet of social behavior. If things get too big, then people that aren't "basic" or aren't bubbly and the common denominator, i.e. people with abrasive personalities like myself have a harder time to fit in and we get shoved to the wall.
I felt the best time for the #Alliance was when we had different syndicates. Then, it was small enough in each server to actually get to know people but as soon as we all converged into one main one, things started to distance for me.