placeholder
placeholder
6 years ago in #blog by inquiringtimes (64)
$45.98
- Past Payouts $45.98, 0.00 TRX
- - Author $38.16, 0.00 TRX
- - Curators $7.81, 0.00 TRX
placeholder
placeholder
Yooo, real. I'm on the spectrum too. Neurodivergent and Autistic and only recently found out within the last few years. It's so intense to start to look back at your history and see what's been going on without your knowledge. It was like a really uncomfortable key fitting into a lock. But I'm grateful too cause after identifying this way, I'm more able to cultivate relationships and jobs that suit the way my brain works rather than feel like I'm struggling 24/7. xo
This realization is both encouraging, and depressing all at once. I'm glad to know that you are finding ways to work with it.
Honestly, part of the reason it might be depressing is because of fucked up messages and misunderstanding that folks have around the spectrum, so we pick up those messages ourselves. Those messages might even be part of the reason we don't know what's going on for a long time - because we don't necessarily see ourselves in those stereotypes.
For example, lots of rhetoric around autistic people used to say that they couldn't feel emotions or connect with others. Later wisdom and talking to other autistic folks taught me that it's actually that many autistic folks are feeling so much that it is overwhelming so some of the surprising behaviour is folks trying to block out some stimulation. If you're feeling everything all the time and can't filter it out, it can be so overwhelming that you can't isolate anything and just try not to feel at all.
Every individual on the spectrum is going to be different. There are ways in which you will have challenges that also corrolate to the ways in which you are exceptional and extremely talented. I'm highly emotionally intelligent but that skill also means that I'm really sensitive to the point that it affects my body physically because I can't always filter things out.
Also, some of the best relationships I've had have been with other folks on the spectrum because the way we relate is very validating and nurturing to me.
My current partner is on the spectrum and it's a joy to not have to apologize for my weird behaviour. As long as we respect each other's boundaries, we can be as neurodivergent as we like and it doesn't cause an emotional rift.
I can relate to many of the things you discuss. Perhaps most people can, actually. I dunno. I'm not most people =p
Having no social support can be extraordinarily challenging, and leaves one feeling alone in a boat lost at sea, emotionally. I have eventually begun to come to grips with the fact that I am fortunate to have no immediate family that is close to me, given the toxicity of the people involved.
I guess that's why they're not close, as I don't tolerate such emotionally assaultive behaviour. I see no value in it, no good purpose, and waste as little time on it as possible.
I have discovered that I am fine being alone. At least I am in company I can trust.
I wish you well on the long journey unraveling the seemingly tangled and yet disconnected threads of the major and minor traumas that ensue from even a normal childhood, much less one complicated by challenges not faced by most folks.
I'm really grateful to my family, who have always been supportive of me. If it wasn't for them I would have bigger problems. Then again, I've historically been fairly detached from them.
Right now I'm living by faith that I can find a way in this world still, because the past isn't encouraging.
The truth is that your faith is rewarded, because there is no mandatory replay button on your life. What has been is over, and what will be is entirely up to you to receive as you will. You are completely free to embrace every present moment with joy as it comes. Do not fear falling short of that vision, as visions aren't reality, after all.
'The past is history. The future's a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why they call it the present.'--Eleanore Roosevelt
Thanks for sharing your story.
Thanks to @josephsavage, this post was resteemed and highlighted in today's edition of The Daily Sneak.
Thank you for your efforts to create quality content!
hey thanks @sneakyninja! I was wondering how it happened that you resteemed my post. thanks to you, also @josephsavage!
Want to commend you on really making an effort to find out about how your brain works and how to make your life better.
Really.
My father found out he is an Aspie a few years ago and all he has done with it is push it away or use it as an excuse.
So I kinda know what you are going through.
Its a big step to be so open about it and an even bigger step to go digging into the past and figuring out how this whole Aspie thing works for you.
A huge digital hug (if you'd like that of course 😊) to you
💜
Wow, your rep is now 65. Proof of how much you fit in on Steemit.
This is very personal stuff you are writing about, i always love to read the posts about you. In particular I enjoyed the post that gave me my first insights to the real @inquiringtimes. Thats was the post you wrote after steemfest.
Steemit is an awesome community, and i see that you recognise that, you did very early on after joining the platform.
Anyway love your posts and thanks for being there for me on discord 😊
well, I'm 63 actually... but whos counting XD
Writing about myself isn't easy for me.... Thanks for being a friend, Paula.
funny, last night it was showing as 65, but then there were also other problems with displays on steemit too that I noticed.
Only a few days ago I was speaking with someone about a child and their hopes for the future and I was able to comfort them with the fact that there is a lot of 'work' online and many people work in 'cyber space' and earn a good living and don't have to do the face to face social stuff (like me) But at the same time, it has been said to me before that its just hiding. I would still disagree with that and think that being online I am more social than ever.... see you even referred to me as a 'friend'. In the offline world, we would not have become friends, even if you just lived down the road
:warm smile: yes, the online world is a great refuge from all of the stress and fumblings I've gone through over the years when I wasn't connected.
My son is on the autism spectrum, he is 7.
Wow, this is some powerful stuff; thank you for having the courage to open up here. I love that steemit is such a safe place to express raw emotion; the people are always so supportive.
I taught high school for years, then went back and completed my Masters in "Special Ed"... they don't call it that anymore btw. It was titled Diversity and Inclusion instead. Anyway. I have witnessed first hand the struggles kids and parents have when dealing with any kind of 'diverse' behaviour; especially with Aspergers or most of the spectrum, parents have no idea how to 'deal' with it, and the kids just don't know another way, because for them, it just is.
Did you just find this out recently? And if I may ask, what prompted you to seek that information out? Just so you know, most kids with any disorder, including anxiety, depression etc, turn to drugs and alcohol as a way of coping. My son has severe anxiety and has more than dabbled in a lot of different things; in fact he was in a treatment centre for a while. His psychiatrist told me that she completely understood why he smoked pot (which by the way I don't consider a bad drug); with so much going on in his brain, it was simply a way to slow it all down so that he could focus.
I remember one student in particular, who had Aspergers, one day in class, walked very quietly up behind me as I was talking with a group of students, and slowly blew on my neck. I turned around, rather abruptly and asked him what he was doing. He calmly and logically replied that he didn't want to interrupt my conversation or disturb me, so he thought it would be more polite to blow on my neck to get attention.
Of course the other kids laughed and I had a long discussion with everyone about the differences in all of us and just because he sometimes reacted differently than the expected norm, it certainly did not mean that he was abnormal. The times are changing in the school system (in Canada anyway), but kids will remain pretty darn cruel. I'm sorry for what must have been a horrible time in school for you.
I hope that you find a professional who can help you unpack all of this, because it will be a journey, but understanding it will certainly help you; and there's all sort of "tricks" you can learn to help you navigate what must seem like a pretty confusing world at times ;)
Again, thank you so much for sharing your story!
Thanks for your support, buddy! @growingpower just upvoted your comment ;)
yes, I started having the suspicion over the last year, when I heard something about people who have aspergers being able to learn social skills (body language, eye contact,etc) by practice, which was my first suspicion... only recently have I done some more research on it and discovered how it explains many of my peculiarities.
I'm glad you figured it out; and our peculiarities are what's makes us all unique ;)
Wow, you have explained this personal story so throughly your thoughts and living with this syndrome, that its hard to believe you have any classifications that would deem you as an Asperger patient...are you sure your not a doctor sharing their thoughts and knowledge about this subject?;))
Excellent post indeed.
With aspergers there isn't an impairment in the intellect. People with aspergers can even have an above average level of intelligence. The biggest difficulty is in adapting socially. I can see some ways that it affects me online, but it's much more difficult for me to relate to people face to face.
In fact, the "regular" development of cognative abilities is what makes it so hard to identify aspergers disorder. It's hard to know how many people go un-diagnosed, but suffer all the same.
Yes I am sorry that I didn't express that I was sharing about the social aspects. As an encouragement that you express yourself well on your post...let me put it this way, I sense you could look deeply in the eyes that will reflect back to you your own heart.
I met you briefly at steemfest last year but I feel I have gotten to know you through your writings over the last few months. This online community is full of great people such as yourself and I hope through writing, and this community, you will find some strength to deal with the issues you face and maybe even answers to some of your questions. I have no experience with the medical route for what you have described so I cannot offer any advice, just support.
Thanks for being a reader.
I'm not always the best at commenting, or responding to comments. I think that's one of the areas where my Asperger's comes out here, actually. Gratefully, I don't face so many social handicaps online. Always I will seek to improve.
Anyways, thanks for the support.
I feel you brother I've got aspergers too all my life delt with problems speaking out people thinking I'm retarded. I did work on how to not speak out so much but im now figuring that it's the social anxiety that really holds me back. Without it I'm more outgoing. Hope we can find ways to conquer that
yeah, that probably some of where all of the drugs and addiction came into play for myself, and others.
I learned that it's easy to make a friend if you share a common substance that you enjoy.
Social skills can be learned, but all of the bad decisions in the past can't be undone.
i feel you man i smoked weed a lot alcohol was something i more got into i used to drink a lot. Now im more recreational. keep your head up man dont let it destroy you just use what your best at were blessed at something