》 Sweet Ass Titbits About Homosexuality 《 @HugMug

hugmug (51)in #blog • 7 years ago

Most likely you were taught in school that homosexuality was devised shortly after World War II because women became ugly and fat due to all the conquered German pastries they were consuming.
In actuality, homosexuality has been around since roughly 10 minutes after the discovery that pointy things could be jammed inside holes.

!! NSFW : Not Suitable For Work content !!
Links at the…bottom.

Gay Warriors

In Ancient Greece, the Theban army thought gay people were bad ass.

Up until 2011 the U.S army banned homosexual soldiers because it believed that they wouldn’t be looking out for your ass during battle, just looking at your ass. Your sexy little ass, wiggling in that tight little uniform as the last nerve endings of your recently blown off legs do a farewell jig .

In Ancient Greece, the Theban army thought gay people were bad ass.
They believed that male lovers who fought alongside one another would fight more valiantly and ferociously during battle. The ‘Sacred Band Of Thebes’ was an elite force comprising of 150 pairs of gay lovers who would swear loyalty oaths to one another in sacred temples.

Each couple was comprised of an older lover in their 20s and a teenage protege. The senior’s task was to protect, educate and be an upstanding role model to the other. The junior’s job was to bend over and play choirboy whilst the interior of their poo-pipe was redecorated a more heavenly white. How much of a role model a borderline paedophile with a God complex could be to an impressionable youth still remains unclear

The sacred band of Thebes were pretty hard though. Occasionally they were employed as specialised shock troops used to hunt out and kill key enemy targets. The gay warriors even defeated those maniacs the Spartans at the battle of Leuctra in 371 BC.

Daily Milking Of...Elders

Those of you who cried when they were force fed vegetables would probably have felt suicidal had you been a male member of the Etoro tribe of Papua New Guinea - unless you like milk shake.

In a ritual act of homosexuality, males aged 12-17 must swallow the semen of their elders to achieve male status. Their belief is that the boys cannot produce sperm by themselves and so must recycle the elder’s sperm in order to become a powerful adult male. The tribe maintains that semen contains a vital force and can only be passed on via oral insemination.

Etoro men engage in homosexual acts with thirsty youth and heterosexual acts with their wives. Man in woman intercourse is prohibited for up to 260 days of the year and is forbidden in or near houses and vegetable gardens. In contrast, homosexual relations are permitted at any time.

Gay Bomb

Even up until 1994 the US military was obsessed with how to keep talking about and mentally picturing homosexuality. The predecessor to the United States Air Force Research Laboratory produced a proposal for non-lethal weapons that included a Gay Bomb.

The plan involved flying over enemy troops to spray them with female pheromones to make soldiers sexually attracted to each other. They would then obviously turn into gay, horny cowards. The battlefield would erupt into machine gun sounds of buttons being ripped off as the troops tore each other’s clothes off and began humping openly in the fields being watered by bullets.

*no pheromonal substance has ever been demonstrated to directly influence human behavior in a peer reviewed study.
Studies do suggest a possible role for human pheromones in the biological basis of sexual orientation.