I think you deserve a pat on the back for owning your behavior like this. It takes a lot of courage to self evaluate and decide to change something you're used to.
I noticed you called yourself a "jerk" but I don't think you should lay any judgments against yourself, it's been popularized and promoted to do just that and at least you're seeing the other side to it and deciding to spread your love yourself :)
Steemit is a great community full of love and encouragement, this post is an a perfect example of that. Kudos to you friend for your insight!
XO