My wife usually leaves for work around 6:30AM. Shortly after she leaves, one of the dogs usually gets up on the bed, and sleeps on her pillow. (Much to her frustration)
This morning, sometime after she left, one of the German Shepherd's jumped up and lay down across from me. Without really waking up, I started petting it's paw.
As I was dosing back to sleep, I noticed something. My dog's breath smelled awful!!!
I'm used to doggy breath, but this was something else. It was truly foul. It smelled like poop!
I start wondering ... did my dog eat poop? I know he did as a puppy, but he hasn't for years.
Or worse, did he step in poop. Thus, I will wake up to a trail of poop from the patio door all the way to the bedroom and onto the bed. Why did my wife not notice?
All of these thoughts were running through my head. This was enough to wake me up. To actually open my eyes.
The truth was worse.
when I finally opened my eyes, I realized that I was petting my dogs hind leg. And, less than 6 inches from my poor nose ... was a farting bum hole.
After contemplating my next course of action, I decided to simply roll over and drift back to sleep until the alarm went off. I was very happy that I wasn't going to have to clean anything up.