ANGER MANAGEMENT 101

in #blog6 years ago

The blood rises through your veins, your neck and face stiffens as your mind goes into autopilot spouting out hurtful and harsh words. Yup, you guessed it right and we all have this feeling.

It’s called ANGER.

Angry-Man_rs.jpg

image source

As normal as this emotion seems to be what is done in its context is not. Our feats of rage can ravage a person’s life in mere seconds leaving broken relationship at its wake. From degrading words and witty comebacks to forceful nudges and pinches (or worse violence) we all have stoop so low to commit such harsh acts against people around us.

Did you know that almost all aggressive tendencies resort to physical and emotional harm? Have you ever seen someone knee deep in rage say "thank you" or has given some one chocolate? Probably not, but if you do then world peace is just around the corner. Kidding aside, we all must come to a rapid stop when our emotions come into play to lessen casualties. And yes I mean this not just emotionally but physically as well.

Too young for my own Good

I don’t mean to brag but I learned how to manage my emotions especially anger at a very young age. I didn’t kept my emotions I just learned to pick a proper place and a proper time to let it out. I’m not saying I’m immune, I still do have those land mines when stepped on will set me off. But growing up from a broken family helped me put things into perspective regarding my emotions. I was the youngest of my 2 siblings.

We were grown into a strict environment by our grandparents because they were the only ones left to take care of us. I was the black sheep shadowed by the achievements of both of my siblings. Furthermore, since I was the youngest I was drilled by principles and disciplines by my up-tight grandparents all the more. Regardless of such environment I held to one biblical principle “Do to others as you would have them to do to you” (Matthew 7:12)

Rules to live by

I am a devoted follower of Jesus. I am not perfect. I am a sinner saved by grace. And the life I lived today I live in Christ. Living with key principles help my life find meaning and growth. They were not chains but my key to freedom. So doing good deeds doesn’t feed my self-esteem nor merit me external rewards. I do them because I chose to live a life that way. Whatever blessing followed was the effect of the life I chose to live by.

With that in mind, here are my guiding principles that helped me stay calm in arduous circumstances in my life:

1. Bending the knee

Humans have this urge to control. I’m not putting our race down believe me it’s just the truth I’ve seen in my younger days. People spend so much time planning, and making everything precise that when such plans fail we lose our heads. Remember that time where you perfectly planned day went south? Rage inducing right? This is what I’m talking about.

When things turn topsy-turvy for me I find a secluded place and bend my knee or when I don’t have the time I imagine it in my head. What comes next is a silent prayer followed by some deep breaths. After that I careful take a step back in my situation trying to look at the big picture. For once beneath the chaos I was able to think straight.

2. Humbling experiences

You know the phrase “put yourselves in someone else’s shoes” that in itself is a humbling experience, one that I often put myself all the time. What if I was the one being yelled at? What if I was the one being judged? What if I was the one being laughed at? With that in mind, I will easily come to the conclusion to not do it to others. Simple? Not at all.

Then how do I get to this mental state? I bended my knee. I realize that there is no need to put myself above others. That being the nicest person that can serve can prove to be an immediate resolution to a salty person or a situation.
You may think that I maybe depriving myself or it is weakness, well not at all. Humbling yourself doesn’t mean you think less of yourself but actually you become selfless. It does not mean you’re powerless but you reserve your power to when it is truly need. Do you catch my drift? :)

3. More than my Understanding

Finally, this maybe an opinion for everyone else but a belief in a higher being, a belief in God that He knows everything and has total control and understanding about everything matters. I don’t see myself grasping every bit of meaning and every detail in my life. I cannot control everything. I know I’ll only get frustrated the more I try.

The bible says “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways… “(Isaiah 5:8-9) this passage reminds me that I do not need to take total control of my own life but be humbled by the fact that there is something higher than my understanding of the present situation. That a loving God who transcends all understanding has planned something good for those who love him (Romans 8:28)

This is what led my life. I do not say my life is at total peace but I know that I have peace in my life. Whenever my plans fail, my boss yells at me, I get hurt by someone or I see yourself losing giving in to anger still I will chose to live and stand by my principle and treat others with love and respect.

Be a positive beacon. Have a Blessed day! :)

Sort:  

OMG! This is SUCH an AMAZING post! Thank you for sharing! I gave you a vote!!

Thank you @rajafahad just wanna give back to the world . Followed you

I'm guilty with the land mine stuff. I am generally very patient but when I blow up, I do and say things that I will regret the next day.

We all have those times @raquelita. Lets charge it to experience and be our better selves.

Really nice post @craigmeister, I can relate on it, me, when I'm angry I just bow my head and keeping my breath too long and I'll exhale.

I'm also a patience person and open minded. I didn't wait for my anger to burst in negative way .I will speak and say what my hearts feels

Thank you for sharing
Much love & respect
@gerel

Appreciated @gerel its nice to know that your also making strides. Let's keep it up

Yes, cause it's the right thing to do. We can control our emotions and it is part of our discipline.
Happy Steeming!
❤❤❤
@gerel

Thanks for the information...keep it up!
STEEM ON!

You're welcome @dotapamore let's both keep up!
By the way i followed you

Very well said. This is exactly what I need to say to my partner. Thank you for this one! :)

I pray both of you can grow from your experiences. Duely appreciated. @rruubbiiee

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.23
TRX 0.12
JST 0.029
BTC 66466.45
ETH 3595.87
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.90