Anger Management Tips for Children and Teens
It seems as though everything happens just to make you mad. When you lose your temper you have trouble containing all of your thoughts and sometimes you end up screaming things you don't mean. It's okay, and even normal, to feel angry from time to time. Unfortunately, if you're not careful, that anger can turn you inside out and control your life. Following some simple steps can help you manage your feelings.
Find an outlet. You may find that you become angrier when you are under a lot of stress. Physical activities such as tai chi and yoga can be great outlet activities because they calm you down, and activities such as swimming and running can work off pent-up energy. Listening to your favorite music, visualizing a pleasant scene, watching your favorite comedian on television or retreating to your bedroom to work on a painting may help defuse your temper before it gets out of control.
Take a moment to breathe. In the heat of the moment it's easy to lose sight of reality. When you are about to act impulsively on anger, take a physical or mental break to relax or assess the problem. If possible, walk away from the person or situation and go to one of your outlets such as doing some yoga poses or writing in your journal until you feel better prepared to respond. If you can't escape---for example, if you're angry in a traffic jam---turn on relaxing music and take some deep breaths as you think about your favorite joke. At the least, the Mayo Clinic recommends counting to 10 to cool down before you react to something that makes you angry.
Consider all of your options before you respond. You were born with the ability to make many of your own choices, so think about all of the ways you could respond to the person or situation that is causing you to feel angry. When your friend tells you that she accidentally bleached the purple shirt you lent her, you could respond in many ways. Some responses could be: yelling at her, crying, saying, "I'm upset but I know it was an accident," or shrugging it off.
Consider the consequences of your potential responses. Deciding to yell at your parents might get you grounded. Deciding to yell at your friend could jeopardize your friendship. Deciding to speed down the shoulder of the road when you don't want to be stuck in traffic could cause you to get in trouble with the police. Deciding to respond calmly may make you feel powerless in the moment, but at least you won't get into any extra trouble and you will probably feel more powerful in the long run.
Journal about your decision. If you decided to disobey in anger and you got in trouble, did you feel satisfied with your choice and its consequences? Maybe you decided to cool down your thoughts and respond calmly. Did you enjoy feeling as if you had more control over your anger? If you feel dissatisfied by the outcome, write about how you might respond differently next time.