It is very easy to go down the slippery slope of negativity when you are feeling a bit down or sad. You will look at one thing and think that everything else is just as bad. All the good things you will feel are just standard.

Really, you are already doing the right thing to see what your reactions are.

I recently watched a documentary about this restaurant in New York. The son said that his father's best advice to him was this:

"If something is bad, let it cool down and maybe it can turn into something good or you can do something about it when it cools down. If something is good, jump on it right away and ride the wave as long as it lasts."

Appreciating your child by giving him/her positive reinforcement via a specific compliment is great for his/her mentality and allows you to see more of this positive attitude. For example, if your son/daughter is lazy about throwing out the trash, you can be specific about something positive that he/she did do. "I like how you were able to throw away your bottle into the trashcan. Would you like to throw away the bag of trash after dinner or before we go walk the dog?" Being positive allows your child to feel appreciated. Giving a question about when your child wants to throw out the trash will allow for him/her to make a choice, but still get your goal accomplished.

For your spouse, because you often get into a routine, it is important to remember that each morning, when you wake up, you can choose this person again and again. He/she doesn't have to love you. You don't have to love him/her. But you hope that each day your spouse chooses love again and again. You should also choose love again and again. Find your spouse's love language and find your own love language and let your spouse know what it is.

Some people's love language is touch, gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch.

Some people prefer one over the other. I know for my husband, he and I like to express our love through food and gifting of food. Whether it's a sponge cake, or yummy leftovers, or a drink, we are able to show each other throughout the week that we are thinking of each other when we get each other a food item.

Maybe see what your spouse's love language is. Show him/her love in his/her way that he/she prefers. And figure out your own love language and let him/her know.

Maybe when you get home, you just really want some peace and quiet. Or maybe you would really like a shoulder rub. Or maybe you want dinner already on the table for you. Whatever it might be, figure it out and praise your spouse for the things that he/she gives effort to do, but then also mention the love language you want to communicate in.

Having a spouse and children and a home, you are already ahead. Good luck with appreciating everything.