Personal blog: The problem of being eclectic

If there is a word that defines me it is ‘eclectic’. Now, what is it about being eclectic? Well, said colloquially, that your tastes, your interests, your passions, you ... everything, are very diverse.

I have always remembered having varied tastes, ah ... and that the common bore me, and that is another consequence of being eclectic. In architecture (by the way, I am an architect by profession), the eclectic style is one that mixes elements of various styles in a harmonious way, and from that mix something new emerges from the existing, why? Because the existing is not enough to meet your expectations, your needs, and that applies both at the collective level (society) and personally (the individual).

But what is the concrete problem of being eclectic? That you never fit completely anywhere, nor is it completely understood or understood by anyone, and it's not that you can't have a full life, it's not the end of the world, but sometimes you want to be able to show all the edges of who you are to the people around you, and not just those who are similar to theirs.

I am a music lover, I love music, and in one day I can listen to jazz, then trova, then electronic music, then rock, and then classical music without problem, but for most people it is strange that I can enjoy Silvio Rodriguez as much as Led Zeppelin, for example.

My friendships are also of the most varied, I am friends with academics and street performers alike, with intellectuals with doctorates as with the office cleaning employees, and for them this is sometimes strange, more than once they have told me: How can you be a friend of mine and also of them?

I am like a spider with each of its legs in different worlds, I do not belong at all to any tribe but I share a little of many. This, although it is very enriching personally, for others it is strange. Usually it bothers us not to be with our peers, and on the contrary it gives us a sense of belonging to being with who they are like us.

For an eclectic this is a problem, since it lives a kind of double life, and although it sounds like a joke it is a serious inconvenience when those worlds in which you have each leg are. You can be with some friends with whom you share something, and run into other friends with whom you share something totally different, which for you does not represent any problem, but for others it may.

For example you can be with a reading group in a cafe discussing a book of those existentials who question everything, and find yourself by accident at the next table with your friends with whom you play online Call of Duty and with whom you have stupid talks , fun and irrelevant, unlike those you have with the reading group, dense and deep. For me that is not a contradiction but for them the story can be very different.

Some may not understand how I can read Nietzche and then go to slaughter soldiers online, and for others I may suddenly look like a stranger, a presumptuous person for the things I read. Both parties may feel somewhat betrayed, because suddenly it turns out that I am not what they thought to know a part of me that has no relationship with them.

When something like this happens, it is difficult to know what to do, because one behaves differently with each group, with each tribe, and it is not that one has multiple personality, it is simply that different parts of your personality manifest themselves in different environments.

Another complex issue is when a topic arises in a talk and one, while understanding the general opinion of others, does not share it. Explaining that you understand their point but do not share it is the most difficult thing.

Or something like that they will tell you. And trying to make you understand, can be the most complicated, and even more explaining your different point of view ... sometimes it's almost impossible mission.

This world where the other, the different, is usually seen as a threat, is not kind to the eclectic, who are usually empathic, and understand the reaction of others, but do not receive the same back.

Over time you get used to it, take advantage of the good, the wide variety of friendships, knowledge, experiences that can nurture it, and try to avoid the bad. But the frustration no matter how much you minimize it is always there crouched in an expected corner to ruin the day when you least expect it.

Knowing that you can only be a percentage of yourself with most people is still annoying, and I say a part because there are also people who accept you that way, even if they don't understand you.

I think it is important to practice tolerance, embrace diversity and have respect for the nature of others, stop seeing the different as a threat, as rare ... but as an opportunity for personal enrichment, for growth. Eclectic or not, these are values that should be the basis of coexistence in society. And if you know an eclectic, give it a chance, it is true that we are a bit strange, but we also have our little heart.

Thank you very much for reading this post and dedicating a moment of your time. Until next time and remember to leave a comments