Courage vs Trust

A few months ago, I began to ask the question, "what are my values?" and "what do I value most?" I scanned through a long list of values and I knew that courage was somehow a very important piece.

Courage. Ok.

And then I saw Trust. Yeah, that feels right too. And it feels intimately connected with courage. Almost as if it's the backside of courage. If Courage is attack, then Trust is surrender. They're part of the same, somehow.

So which do I value more? Trust? Or Courage?

I felt that Trust was the right one to choose. If I just let things come to me, I can trust that I can take them on, no matter how scary or uncertain or irrational. If an attack presents itself, I can defend. If I valued Courage over Trust, then I would go out looking for opportunities to be courageous. And that's dangerous! If I didn't have any problems, I shouldn't go looking for some, right? Indiscriminate courageous action will lead to chaos! At least if I Trusted myself to deal effectively with the problems that came to ME, I could minimize the amount of unnecessary problems. That makes sense.

But I'm now realizing that indiscriminate courage doesn't lead to chaos. It may actually lead to order. Let me explain.

We live in a world now where we can communicate anyone we want to reach, eat all the doughnuts we could ever want, learn all we want to learn, and travel just about anywhere we want to go. If you're looking for direction in life, you have infinitely many. So how can I possibly choose the "best" or "right" one? What guidance do I have? In which of the infinitely many directions should I direct my life?

Here are some options.

I should make the most money as I can. But how much is the "most."
I should eat all the ice cream I want until I die. But how much will satisfy me?
I'm going to travel all the places I want to see. See for yourself how unsustainable that is.
I'll be the best doctor/astronaut/firefighter/marketer/cop/teacher/nurse/soldier that ever lived! But by whose standards?

Do you see how all of these intentions are unstable? The goals DIVERGE. The end never comes. And all these exciting things lose their ability to satisfy.

What if there was a CONVERGENT goal. One that becomes more specific and more satisfying as you approach it? One that's so clear that it cannot be disputed.

I think this convergent goal is to take courageous action. We can take many actions, but not all actions are courageous. So if I direct my focus and energy to actions that are intimidating and scary.....AND THEN vanquish those fears by taking those exact actions that vanquish them, would I not have a fulfilling life?

Think about a time when you finally did something you'd been avoiding for a while. You took it head on with determination. You accomplished your task, even though it was hard, strenuous, and intimidating. How did you feel afterward? Not exactly how you'd feel after your 9th doughnut, right? It's a more sustainable, fulfilling, healthy sense of accomplishment. And it's motivating. It encourages you to take more courageous action. Courageous action CONVERGES onto a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. Eating a dozen doughnuts DIVERGES from fulfillment and satisfaction.

So taking courageous action is actually NOT chaotic, but extremely precise. And not only that, but those actions that require courage are specific to my life. Not everyone has to work up courage to talk to his/her dad about grandfather. But I do, when when I did, I felt victorious for having the balls to do it. And I'm a stronger man because of it.

Now think about it. Is my life more peaceful now that I ATTACKED a difficult issue with courage? Or should I have waited for and trusted that the opportunity would to come to me?

Well you might say, "But doesn't it take courage to pull down your pants in the middle of a public square? Are you saying I should do that?"

No, because what lies on the other side of that action is embarrassment, not fulfillment.

Courage is the cost you pay for fulfillment. True fulfillment. Look at what lies on the other side of fear and determine if it's worth the cost.