My melodramatic story about a hawk

Public photo courtesy of http://www.howardsview.com/Red-tailedHawks/Red-tailedHawks.html

Today I’m going to tell you a story about the hawks that have been visiting us, every year, for at least the last 5 years, since we’ve moved into this neighbourhood. But first, let me set the stage…

We moved into our townhouse in a Calgary inner city neighbourhood just over five years ago. We took possession in May, so early spring I guess. Just adjacent to our home are the Currie Barracks, aka Canadian Forces Base Calgary, aka CFB Calgary. The base was decommissioned in 1998 and has been under constant redevelopment ever since. The portion of the base we live next to had not been touched. It includes large military buildings, and what is known as parade square where military ceremonies took place.

Currie Barracks circa 1941 (photo credit: Canada Lands Corporation)

There was also significant green space with many trees and forested areas. There were a number of old paths that cut through the area, some of which seemed to be at one time an old obstacle course. The obstacles included climbing walls, monkey bars, and logs as I recall. Most of the obstacles were rotted, and overgrown with grass. Today much of it has since been cleaned up or demolished, but back when we first moved in, there was a certain charm, romance and nostalgia associated with our walks through there. The coolest thing about it, was it was untouched. I don’t think many people ventured through the wooded area and the paths. That is until we arrived…

The sad thing about being the first to move into a new neighbourhood, is the demolition you witness all around you. We bought into the idea of a brand new community, in the inner city, 10 minutes to downtown. What I did not expect though, was the destruction of the wildlife habitat that surrounded us. I really didn’t think there was much, if any wildlife on that little plot of land, but there was. (The field you see below was called Rifles Field. It has since been ripped apart as they install new services, roads and sidewalks. The forested area behind the field has partially been retained. It will be called Alexandria Park.)

Rifle's Field

On our daily walks through this park with our dog, Millie, we would see an array of wildlife on a very regular basis. The coyotes, rabbits and gophers being the most common, however I even saw a deer on one occasion. There were quite a few dead trees so you would catch sightings of the woodpeckers fairly often and hear them even more. I think their proper name is the Northern Flicker, but woodpecker sounds so much more down-home so that’s what I’m going to call them.

Walking Millie through the park

Since we’ve arrived, however, the coyotes have all but disappeared. I miss them. I feared and admired them at the same time, and almost looked forward to that anxious anticipation each time we stepped outside. I still hear the woodpeckers, but they’re no longer pecking on wood. They are typically pecking away at somebody’s brand new metal chimney in a very loud and obnoxious way.

Okay, I’ve set the stage enough. Now let’s talk about the hawks. Anyway, 5 years ago, we were walking through the park around June and we noticed a hawk. A lovely hawk, soaring high above us in the clouds. Within a few seconds we noticed the other one. There were two, and they were a couple! I could not distinguish the male from the female because they looked the same to me. That didn’t matter though, they were majestic, they were beautiful, and we watched. They called out to each other on occasion as if conversing, and then settled on a large old telephone pole, and we watched. Now because we have Millie, we are out in this park daily, sometimes 3 times a day. Everyday we would see the hawks. This continued through the summer, and then they were gone.
Hawks are another animal I knew very little about. Turns out they migrate. Who knew? At the time, I just thought they found another home. It never crossed my mind I would see them again, but I did. The following spring there they were again; both of them, just as before. My heart skipped a beat when I saw them. There is something about the beauty and grace of a hawk. I was overjoyed. So now we knew; this was their summer home, and as long as that telephone pole was there, they’d be back every year. I was always so excited to see them upon their return. They fly with such dignity and elegance. I just love to watch them. I started to believe they knew us. I would call out to them and say hi. 4 years in a row they returned.

Hawks mate for life. Did you know that? They are completely monogamous and apparently, together they will defend their nesting territory for years. I looked that up. I had to… because this spring, only one of them returned. The old telephone poles had been removed, and the landscape was ripped up, but still he returned, even though he was alone. I get emotional as I write this because seeing that one lonely old hawk up in that big blue sky all by himself made me so sad. I don’t know why it struck a cord with me, but it did. Whenever I was out there, I would see him. Please note, I’m saying him but I really don’t know if he was the male or the female.

I would still go out everyday and walk Millie, and everyday, just as before, there he would be, soaring above me, but all by himself. He called out a lot; a shrill cackling sound, over and over again. I would always say hi, but my heart broke each time I saw him. I walked with my neighbour one day and when we saw him, I explained his story, and that he had been coming back every year for 5 years. She suggested that the Hawk must be my spirit animal. Apparently a spirit animal is an animal that speaks to your spirit. Over the summer, that hawk definitely spoke to mine, so I agreed with her. I guess the hawk is my spirit animal.

One night my husband and I were lying in bed. Our bed faces a very large window which looks out to the northwest. It is on the 3rd floor so the view is quite lovely, especially at sunset. On that night, I just happened to look out the window. Just then, the hawk swooped down right in front of the window and then soared upwards into the horizon, towards the sun. It looked like something you would see in an animated cartoon, but never in real life. It was surreal and absolutely stunning! I screamed, “oh my God Dave, did you see that?”. He noticed in time to see the bird off in the distance, but he didn’t see what I saw. That’s okay though, because a few nights later, that bird did the exact same thing, and this time Dave noticed it first!

The summer progressed, and my walks with Millie and the hawk progressed as well. I mentioned earlier the Hawk had a shrill scream. I would often hear him long before I would see him. He sounded as though he were in pain, which exacerbated my perception of his anguish even more. My feelings of his distress were magnified again on the day Dave, Millie, and I were walking downtown by Saint Patrick’s Island in Calgary. During our walk, I noticed two pairs of hawks in the sky. They made me think further about my hawk and his loneliness and despair. I got to wondering, was he truly mourning the loss of his mate? I took to the Internet as we were walking along the path. You know what they say… if you want to find evidence to corroborate your beliefs, you will find it on the internet. I immediately found an excerpt posted in The Mercury News (San Francisco Bay area newspaper) titled, “Hawk mourns for lost mate”. The writer goes on to talk about the hawk’s “crying, calling, and pleading for her mate to come”, followed by, “it’s such a desperate cry I have to go inside from my gardening because it makes me so sad”. That was it for me…I was a mess. I couldn’t even think about that hawk anymore without bursting into tears.

I told anyone who would listen, the story about my hawk. I remember one day, telling Ava, my niece about him, and the fact (because it was a fact now), that he was my spirit animal. She was fascinated by this and began to wonder who her Spirit animal was, so we went online and took a test (link to the test is here). Ava’s spirit animal was a Lion. The lion is the most relentless fighter in the face of life’s challenges. It represents strength and power. Needless to say Ava was quite proud of her spirit animal. So then I took the test, and you will never guess who my spirit animal was? … now wait for it…

It was a turtle, yes a turtle. Not a beautiful, graceful hawk, but a turtle!

Now there’s nothing wrong with a turtle. It represents peace and serenity which is lovely, but I’m the most conflicted person I know. There is no serenity here, so I don’t think so. I’ll stick to the hawk, thank you very much. The hawk uses vision, the power of observation, and intuition. That sounds a lot more like me, and I have my own personal connection to my neighbourhood hawk, so the hawk it is.

I’m digressing here I know, but one more thing… Just the other day I was walking down the street, and I noticed a young girl wearing a T-Shirt. It said “My Spirit Animal is Satan”. I found this incredibly funny. I laughed out loud. I wanted to compliment her on her humour, but I was afraid she would think I was mocking her. With all my focus on spirit animals this summer, it really did feel apropos.

So it’s autumn now. The leaves have turned colour and have blown off the trees. They are paving the streets, and pouring the curbs and sidewalks in what used to be Rifle’s Field. I no longer hear the heart wrenching cry of my hawk, as he is gone. Gone back to his winter home.

Shortly before he left however, I should let you know, he found a mate. I was ecstatic! Maybe all the screaming and screeching was his mating call. If it was, it worked. We were all able to witness him and his new mate a few more times before they headed off for the winter.

It’s interesting you know; the end of summer is always a little sad as we watch the season die off and come to an end. This time however, it was joyous; full of new found love, hope, and new beginnings.

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