Hi@nuelapex, i like the way you built up your story, it has the postentials be turned into some big and intresting but, just when i started to create the imagery in my mind, the story was cut short.
In the next piece, try to add more colour and image to it, let your readers have a tip of where you are going to, this will help in the suspence and climax.

Nice story line anyways.

Contributions from @arinzechukwu