Why I Hate Being Autistic

in #blog7 years ago

I may get heat for this. But I honestly HATE being autistic. I wish I never had it. I would not be able to hold a job because of the way I process things. For instance, say I need to know where a Jewel Osco is. And I come and ask you. And you say, "first go to the 100th street, then turn left, then turn right at Hamburger street, cross the Rail Road tracks and turn left etc. Because I was unable to process it all, I would have to ask again. You maybe wondering "how did you process info at school?" Well the teachers were aware of my condition and accommodated me if needed, and I could write it down, and the teacher can repeat it as much as I needed it and not lose their cool. I am talking about in cases I can't write it down. If the person is not aware of my condition, they will think I am slow and faceplam. This can make things difficult at a job, as the boss may lose his/her patience and fire me. Prime example. When I was in band, I was one of the flag twearlers, I struggled on a move the director choreographed, I just could not process that move, the director got fed up and yelled at me in front of the whole band. Screamed at just because I was struggling. See who crazy that sounds. Also unintentionally offending people. You may be asking yourself, "how the hell do you unintentionally offend people?" I am not talking about "oh you're stupid" "oh you're ugly." More like I could say something and not know its offensive to them. Most people with autism lack social skills and cues. And not know until its too late what I said was wrong. One example I have is, I was with my friends mom, her car would bounce. I had mentioned it when she had a friend over. And when we were in the car, she said It was wrong to tell someone that. I didn't know that that would offend her or make her feel odd. This stupid conditions makes me look like an asshole if the person is not aware of the issue. I had no intentions to embarrass her. This is the major reason why I hate being autistic. There are things that anger me about it and I need to vent. At times i cannot explain my issues to people without them judging. They think just because they know someone with a disability and that person is working, they automatically think same principles apply with me. No two people are the same. Don't assume your way will work with them just because you have the same thing as them. Well that's my rant. Its one of those things were unfortunate events make you hate certain things

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Not being able to follow a long list or directions is not something specific to your condition. Rest assured you are not alone. Many people cannot remember more than 2 steps. I have to write stuff down all the time. Sure there can be social downsides to Autism but some employers understand the differences. In Florida we have a car detailing company that ONLY employs those with autism. They found that their employees focused on their tasks and ensured everything was perfect. Publix, one of Florida's best supermarkets hires many as well. They understand the differences and value of those with disabilities. I would bet that you care about those jobs you had and put in way more effort than others. More and more employers / people will come around. Oh and the entire offending people, maybe they should toughen up. My friends mom drove buick stationwagon that used to bounce around. I used to call it the boat. They thought it was hilarious and they always called it the boat after that.

Its being able to PROCESS the directions that I have a problem with. Like you said in Florida there are places that hire only Autistic people, how ever I live in Illinois and Illinois may not have places like that.

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