Wow, this is an AMAZING post @guchtere - don't mind the summarizing comment at the end, I love reading stories like these.

I can summarize for you though: you should be proud of yourself. I know the struggles of fighting with/against your own body, but you've come far even though you wished it would've been 'further'.

But appreciating physical challenges, I'm even more impressed by your decision to 'ring the bell' about your mental state. It takes a while to recognize the symptoms and then it takes another while to actually take action. It sounds like you were in time for this to become 'the next big challenge' of 2019 :-/

Thanks for writing such a personal post, it's a lot of hard work to be the best person you can be, but I've met you and can tell you you're a freaking awesome human :D

Onto an epic 2019!