My 2018: Achievements and Failures- how I slipped while trying to find myself.

fieryfootprints (60)in #blocktradescontest • 6 years ago (edited)

This will be my entry in [the contest](https://steemit.com/blocktradescontest/@anomadsoul/contest-my-2018-achievements-and-failures-or-100-steem-in-prizes-4dac490ac4b85est) created by @anomadsoul and @blocktrades.

My greatest achievements and failures are greatly connected to steemit and whaleshares. I am trying to be an artist but I am failing at selling my creations. At first I joined steemit because I was looking for a way to showcase my art. I partly succeeded in achieving this goal. I am not always getting many comments. Sometimes I get "nice work. follow for a follow". But I also received a few precious gems-comments that I truly cherish. Earning such delightful words (especially from the people that I like) should mean that I am doing something right.

I should not claim that my art has evolved. Especially considering that I can't sell it. But I think I have the right to say that I like the direction my creations took after I found steemit.

Those are examples of my art before 2018:

"Scales" pyrography + acrylic paints + colored pencils

"Herald of happiness" pyrography + acrylic paints + colored pencils

these are are examples of my more recent works:

"Spirit of the winter" pyrography + colored pencils

"The lost palace" pyrography + colored pencils

"Night‘s wings"

Until now I was talking only about my art but I made some other changes as well.

I will still return to achievements later. But for now let's take a look at my ~~fails~~ fuck ups as well. Steemfest 3. I won a ticket. I believed this to be one of my greatest achievements. I believed that journey to Krakow will be a great adventure.

But at the time I was about to reach what I considered a city of my dreams I started doubting myself. I thought that I will not be able to cover my travel and accommodation expenses on my own. Even after asking my gallery to cut prices in half I thought that it will not be enough to get money in time. So I returned my ticket. I allowed it to slip from my fingers.

Ironically the next winner was in the same shoes as me. Not able to cover his travel. Except that he was from Panama(?) or some other distant part of the world while I am from Lithuania- nearly the doorstep to steemfest 3. During the first days of steemfest I was checking steemfest tags and I saw that he was asking people for help to get there. I didn't even think about this possibility before it was too late. Some of my facebook friends were not willing to share my post about about my pieces that are on sale so idea that strangers would give their money to me seemed completely absurd. That is another fuck up on my part. Fuck ups don't end here. I saw plenty of photos from steemfest 3 that made me think "Damn that is so cool" or "I should have been there/I had to be there". I read the stories about priceless/life changing experiences, unforgettable adventures. I will never know how much of it true and how much is exaggeration- steemfest 3 will not happen again.

But now it is time to return to achievements. After failing so much I now am more able to understand myself and what I want in life.

I am still not able to sell physical form of my pieces. But that no longer matters so much. I found my way to whaleshares and it restored my faith in myself and in my art. Now I am selling/ investing my time and effort by sharing not only my pieces but also ideas and thoughts that inspired them.

You are likely thinking. So this guy earned a 841WHALESTAKE. So what? Why is he so happy? It is not like he became a millionaire. Sure you are right. But I see this as a sign of a better tomorrow. I believe that as long as I invest my time and effort it will pay off. In the future this could mean that I will be able to power up my steemit as well

One more thing. Steemfest 3 is gone. But I intend to make a comeback in steemfest 4. That hope and the fact that I found some interesting people in steemit/ whaleshares are my greatest achievements in 2018.