The Bitscare Before Coinmass

Somewhere on the blockchain, pump king Fork Segwitington has delivered another scary Cryptowean. But he receives the FUD of Cryptoweantown with no enthusiasm -- something is missing from Fork's life and he's tired of doing the same old Cryptowean thing year after year. The missing something might well be Rally, an animated rag doll who yearns for Fork, but he doesn't notice. (Rally was created by Cryptoweantown's evil scientist, who keeps her locked up except when she knocks him out by slipping deadly Hypeshade in his soup).

While pondering his world-weariness in a cemetery (disturbing Rally, who's replenishing her supply of deadly Hypeshade), Fork takes his ghostly dog 2X for a walk in the woods. They come upon a strange circle of trees, each with a door representing a holiday. Fork opens the Bitcoin door and they're sucked in, landing in Bitcointown. Fork is curious about everything he sees there, but finds it all delightful and wants to be part of it.

Back in Cryptoweantown, Fork calls a town meeting, where he describes what he saw in Bitcointown. His people don't seem very impressed, so to draw them in, he makes some elements of Bitcoin -- including "Santa Clause" -- sound scary. Then he announces that they're taking over Bitcoin and starts assigning jobs. The evil scientist must whip up some reindeer, Cryptoweantown's top trick-or-treaters are to kidnap Santa Clause, and Rally's task is to make Fork a red Santa suit. She tries to tell him that co-opting Bitcoin is a terrible idea, but he's too wrapped up in his enthusiasm to listen.

The three trick-or-treaters return triumphantly with the Ether Bunny; Fork sends them back and eventually they bring him Santa Clause. Fork directs the trick-or-treaters to take Santa Clause away and make him comfortable, but they give him to Oogie BitcoinCash instead.

Meanwhile, Rally has produced a red suit (without a cap, so Fork steals Santa's) and the evil scientist's skeletal reindeer are hitched to a sleigh full of creepy toys. Rally tries to sabotage his Bitcoin Eve delivery by adding FOMO juice to the town well, and it almost works. But the spectral dog 2X, who happens to have a glowing nose, comes to the rescue. Rally deduces that only Santa Clause will be able to help Fork now, and sneaks into Oogie BitcoinCash's lair in an effort to free him.

Fork sets off in his sleigh, but he doesn't really get Bitcoin -- his idea of a keen gift for a small child is a shrunken head or a toy duck with sharp teeth that chases its owner -- so he spreads terror and mayhem at every house he visits. He ends up being blown up out of the sky by the terrified populace. Realizing both his mistake and his desire to be the best pump king he can be, he goes back to Cryptoweantown to find Santa Clause and set Bitcoin right.

He surprises Oogie BitcoinCash, frees Rally and Santa Clause, and outdoes Oogie BitcoinCash in a decisive final showdown. Santa Clause scolds Fork about trying to take over a holiday that isn't his, and then sets about magically saving Bitcoin. Fork and Rally return to town just as Santa Clause flies over and offers the Cryptoweantownsfolk a bit of Bitcoin magic: their first snowfall. Fork and Rally share a tender moment in the cemetery, and die happily ever after.