Why you should close your Coinbase account.

After months of trying to access my Coinbase account, which I've had since 2014 and rarely used, I received a cryptic message from Jeb the customer service bot.

I wrote:
"I live in an area where I don't have cell phone reception. Therefore I don't waste my money on a cell phone account. I have not been able to access my account so I need another option."

Jeb the Coinbase Support Bot replied:

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Coinbase support.

Our primary goal is to make our platform safe and secure for our customers. Coinbase is a regulated Money Services Business under FinCEN (FinCEN.gov), and as part of our responsibility, we are legally obligated to implement regulatory compliance mechanisms.

Our records indicate that you are no longer eligible to use our platform. Unfortunately, we cannot provide you with any additional, specific information regarding your account closure.

We have not blocked access to any of your funds. You may sign in and withdraw your currency. Blockchain currency (Bitcoin, Litecoin, Ethereum) must be withdrawn to an external wallet address. Fiat currency must be withdraw to the verified bank account.

Once your funds are withdrawn from our platform, your account will be closed. While we can regrettably no longer provide support for the continuation of your account with us, we are able to assist you with:

• Withdrawing your funds
• Generating a report of your account history for tax or other accounting purposes

If you need assistance with either of those issues, or another issue not addressed, please simply reply to this email and we can do our best to help. Again, we will not be able to supply any additional information, and the decision to close your account is final.

We are very sorry once again for any inconvenience, and we wish you the best.

WTF?

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