My Profound Gratitude for the Power of Birth

in #birth4 years ago

Yesterday my youngest (yes I'm sure she's the last) turned 4. Every birthday brings me back to that unique birth experience. It got me thinking about my gratitude for four healthy home births and all that birth taught me.

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That last birth was under an hour and a half. The midwife didn't even make it. Shit, my husband barely made it. My husband caught her while holding our 18 mo old in his other arm. It was in the water which makes one handed catches possible. The midwife walked in, sighed, and told me she knew she was going to miss that one. For this birth I learned that I can always roll with what comes, and I'm able to handle almost anything on my own.

You're welcome for picking one without the placenta
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My first baby was pretty fast for a first baby. 4:43 was my longest birth. I know right now that many women want to smack me. I also went way faster than the midwife thought I would. The assistant sort of moseyed on over. I was in rough shape because I was in transition. I didn't know that, though. I assumed it was going to get way worse and that I was probably going to die. When she realized that was the situation, she hurried the midwife up who barely made it. In this situation I learned that usually when you're feeling at your limit, it's getting ready to get better. Your body and spirit seem to both know which lines not to cross.

Before the days of Facebook births. He's actually 19 now, but the photo albums are in storage
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Number two was pretty unusual. She had consistently measured very high, so we started to consider two different due dates. Like most pregnant women, I preferred the first. They were four weeks apart. Turns out it was the second one, so she was really a week early, but it felt like three weeks late. The day before she was born I just broke down. It was then that I realized I needed to stop working and rest. The next morning my water broke. Ten hours later there were still no signs of active labor. I sent everyone home and went to bed. Thirty minutes later labor started. It was a total of 1:23 start to finish. What I learned here? If you let go and stop obsessing, shit gets done faster.

Another pre Facebook birth. She's now 15. You'll find her art @sophieharling
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Number three was a bit of a challenge. It was less than 3 hours and a super easy birth, but the placenta was stuck, so I had to go to the hospital to get it taken out. It involved a couple shots of pitocin and then some more substantial drugs and an awful emergency room obstetrician. At the hospital they insisted I could only have my husband or my midwife with me, not both. I chose my husband, but maybe that wasn't the best choice because without warning, the ob just reached half his arm in to try to remove my placenta. He learned quite quickly that he would have to use some drugs before finishing that job. Luckily the baby was never admitted, so at least they didn't get their dirty fingers on him. What I learned? Stand up for yourself! If I would have had a big fit and insisted, they would have let me have them both, and I'm pretty sure my midwife would have clocked him for shoving his forearm inside me with no warning. Neither an advanced degree nor a well paying job is any kind of reason to allow people to abuse you. The older I get the more I become a fan of telling people to piss off.

These two both witnessed this birth. Another gift of home birth.
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And this brings us to home birth generally. For a healthy mom and baby, home is a perfectly safe place to birth - perhaps the safest place. I'm not going into a full home birth lecture, but here's just a few reasons.

  • You're less likely to encounter sick people in your home than at a hospital.
  • Your baby already has immunity to any germs in your house.
  • Routine hospital interventions lead to increased cesarean rates.
  • A cesarean is still surgery and still risky.
  • Being at home is so comforting.
  • Not having to get in the car is awesome.
  • Home birth mamas are required to be well educated about the birthing process, and this always leads to better outcomes.

The two girls. The older one already knows quite a bit about birth.
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Happy b'day to your little one, congrats to you, never say it's the last one. I like your notion of 'pre-facebook' babies :-)
You are lucky with your short birth times, maybe you have some Dutch roots? Dutch ladies seem to have more space between the bones (omg, sorry, don't know the English word for this, don't get me wrong). I say that because my wife is Dutch and did it also twice in less than 10 minutes. Hey @solarsupermama, nice to meet you through a resteem, shine on and much love.

Thank you so much! I really do feel lucky. I don't know about Dutch roots. It's possible. I do have Swedish for sure. Not sure if they also have the wide hips (and no offense at all - I knew exactly what you meant). Less than 10 minutes is amazing! Much love right back to you! Glad to meet you, @bubke!

Haha, wide hips is the expression, yes but the word i was looking for was the pelvis. It is the pelivic type which apparently dictates the easiness of birth. Steemit brings you to the most unexpected corners i must say, my daughter of 13 was just looking over my shoulder "Papa, what are you looking at?" :-) I was on this page :-)

:D Yes, we do cover all the bases on here, don't we? That's education right?

To be honest, I was super terrified of home births, but you doing this 4 times? There is a lot I am missing out on apparently c:

I also don't like surgery, so this works out. Thank you for sharing this with us, I'll probably think back to this in the future!

When mama and baby are both healthy, home is safest. All the monitoring and intervention inevitably result in unnecessary complications. Doctors also have different motivations from midwives, and the hospital environment reflects this. Women have been put on their backs to deliver because that's more convenient for doctors. It's actually the worst position to birth in because it's uphill. That's just a small example. I definitely recommend researching homebirth!

That does make sense that doctors would do the most convenient thing, even when it compromises a patient from being comfortable. More people getting involved is not always the best thing, and childbirth feels like this is one of those situations it would hold true. Thank you for this glimpse mama.

Love,
shello

You're welcome, sugar. Also, happy, happy birthday!! May the next year bring untold joy and love and abundance. And! You don't need to upvote my comments. I saw your post about losing your steempower. You don't need to spend it here!!

No worries mama! I realized that if I just don't vote, commenting basically becomes a challenge for me. When I get more SP, I will adjust accordingly :3

I get that. I feel the same. At least partly because I took a lot of my etiquette cues from you when I first came on here.

I am sort of grateful and partially scared to hear this xDD Having good manners is super important, and I'm glad that you get along with others, and have a bunch of friends now C:

I'm super big on manners too. This community is really wonderful. I feel so glad to have found it.

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hey @solarsupermama, well done on your 4 healthy homebirths, I love to read about womens positive birth experiences, so many times all we hear is the bad ones. I wish more women could experience how empowering it is to be allowed to birth your babies yourself. Our bodies are amazing and they know what to do. Thanks so much for sharing and happy birthday to your beautiful daughter. resteemed.

Thank you! I so agree. We need to share our positive stories so the younger women won't be living in fear! It is powerful and deeply spiritual and wonderful and challenging. Our bodies are, indeed, amazing. It's an incredible process.

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Nice post...
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