Major Biden, the First Dog!

in #biden2 months ago


A special counsel has been appointed to investigate Biden's mishandling of classified documents. But there is no longer a need for his services. The true culprit is obvious: Major Biden, the First Dog!

When Major was unfairly expelled from the White House, he understandably worried he would be bored, and so decided to take some classified documents with him as light reading - or possibly to chew on. This theory explains several seeming anomalies in the case:

  1. The discovery of the documents caught the White House by surprise. If Joe Biden had taken them, he would surely have known about it, and could have arranged to have them quietly returned as soon as Trump's troubles with classified documents made the issue salient. But Major must have taken them without telling anyone (probaby because he was afraid of getting into trouble again).

  2. Many of the documents were found in places readily accessible to a dog, such as the garage. Would a human put his favorite reading material in the garage? Surely not. But a dog might.

  3. Why some of the documents were so old, dating back to Biden's time as Vice-president and even senator. Joe Biden had no need to keep these superannuated docs. But they might have been of interest to Major, who wasn't yet born at the time, and therefore lacked first-hand experience of that era. Reading old documents could help him understand that period in his owner's life, and figure out a way to persuade him to let Major return to the White House.

In sum, Major Biden did it! Case closed.

While a dog can't be criminally prosecuted, nothing in the Constitution prevents him from being impeached and removed from the office of First Dog. If the GOP House majority is as interested in impeachment as some of them seem to be, they should focus on Major! An impeachment trial of a dog would be less absurd than some other things that have gone on in Congress lately.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.22
TRX 0.07
JST 0.028
BTC 28385.21
ETH 1814.14
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.77