UNDYING SORROW FOR MY SUPERHERO

in #bestdad6 years ago (edited)

I can't say that he is the best but if I will be given a chance to choose a man to stand as my father? I will never replace this man. He is the only man whom I am forever wishing and he is the only father who fits my heart to be his daughter. I love you master pogi! ❤

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I actually didn't have enough courage to create an entry for this contest but I will never lose any chances by showing my support to my special friend @reginecruz. Nahh. I never expected you to run this kind of a game. It's just so painful on our part. But then, here we go..

BEST FATHER?

Nah! I would bet my dad for winning the title. I proudly know who he is, and all the potentials of being the best are inside him.

Everyone has their own flaws, the way we think about it is all that matters.

I am the first daughter, first niece and first grandchild in the family. Yes, I am the first baby from my mom and dad's family. I am just lucky! Being the baby, what to expect? I get all what I want. I grew up active and bubbly. I never felt the weight of studying since they're all behind my back specially my master pogi.

But the person who completed me the most is no other than my dad. Sounds different but yeah, I am a papa's girl since then. He knows everything about me. I'm kinda scared from my mom because she's strict specially in terms of my studies so I keep on running off to my dad when I didn't get the rank that my mom expected. He even asked my mom to hit him instead of me. After I cried when mom scolded me, he's always there to push his corny jokes and make faces to trace a smile in my face.

When I was 4, I had this childhood crush named BJ. I whispered it in his ear before we sleep and "Don't worry, your mom will not know about it" he whispered back as he chuckles then I fell asleep in his arms.

All my classmates and teachers since I started my studies know him so much. That's actually the reason why I feel like "Hey! Try teasing me and my papa will come over!" My elementary classmates are too scared to have a finger on me since dad's picture is on my ID wearing his camouflage uniform and his gun. Instead of mom, he attends my school in every meeting as he was the PTA's president.

On high school, he will fetch me from home to drop me off to school. I never thought how busy he is because he's always with me/us. All my meetings, recognition and graduations will not be completed without his presence.

What I am today is all because of him. He loves music that's why I know how to play a guitar and even took a piano lesson when I was 6. He's good in arts and calligraphy and because I am like a kitten who pushes myself wherever he is, I've learned a bit from he's drawing, paintings and he's writing. He loves to sing though we keep on teasing him, he sings a song with dance or feelings so I burst out laughing. He teaches me and my brother to sing but when he noticed that dancing is what I love, he pushed me to join a dance group and enrolled me in a dance club.

One of the unforgettable singing sessions with him is when he's studying the guitar chords of "come what may". He asked me to the sing as he strums the guitar, since I am not good in singing.. I stopped in defeat and in screamed "ang panget ng boses mooo, tama na" in frustration. I died in laughing that time because he's really disappointed! Guess he expected too much from my golden voice. Hahahaha

I enjoyed my life so much. Everything is on the right track. We're so happy and blessed. They invites our family as a model until I woke up one day entering a dark world without him. For unknown reason, he left us.

I never felt a single anger, I just look at this way "he's just catching some fresh air somewhere and will be knocking the door soon".

Days, months and years passed by. It's been 5 years since he left us. Still, I love him. We're making a phone call sometimes, I even cried at him once. He confessed about everything and no matter how hard it is, me and my siblings accepted and still loves him so much. No trace of anger from our hearts because he's still great in our memories.

I can't forget our last convey through phone. You we're asking if I have a special man aside from him and I proudly answered "Ha! next time i'll introduce him to you pa!" Your last words was "Talagaaa? Alam ba nya na ako papa mo oh? Sige nga at kikilatisin ko yan a" you answered between chuckles and sounds disbelief. Nah! I guess you don't believe that I have this man. You still looks at me like a kiddo. Like hello papa?! I am the eldest in the sibling! I was about to complain but the phone call was cut already. I walked back to my room with a smile. I missed your voice.. Your laugh.. And the way you teases me.

Life holds no guarantee that the chances will come over again and again.

We are waiting for his coming back as he told us last year that he's going home. But, we never expected even in my dream that he will come home lying in a cold casket. Insensitive. Without heart beat. Breathless.

December 26, 2017.
I woke up early as I was about to go to office. I'm in the shower room when I heard my sibling crying telling something to my mom. I can't hear anything clear so I finished everything in hurry. As I opened the door, I saw them staring at me. I saw their tears as it flows down hard. My heart stopped when I hear the next words.

"Someone called, papa was killed by a gunshot."

My world stopped. I blinked an eye to escape from this f.cking nightmare. I run to my room. I tried to think straight.

"He's just kidding. This is a prank" I actually texted @reginecruz that maybe it's all just his prank.

We flew in Cavite to confirm. Along the way, I can't stop my tears from falling. I keep telling myself that it's just one of his surprise. I am convincing my brain to believe. I can't think straight. I don't care how I look that time, I don't care what other people may think. I can't stop my tears.

We arrived. Yes we arrived. My heart beat stopped when they showed us the way to check him. I can't walk. I can't make a single step to follow them. My brother took, my arms to make a walk but I stopped. I stood there like a statue. I don't want to see my dad inside that f.cking room! I wanted to scream in anger. I even asked the man there to put my papa here! Bring him away from that morgue! But then he cried. I just cried inside his office while those evils are telling what happened.

He stayed inside their office to celebrate with their staffs who didn't have a family in Manila/Cavite. He chose to celebrate alone rather than visiting our home. Before ending the Christmas night They said, an unknown man entered the office and killed him by a gunshot on the left side of his head. Why would I believe them all?! They're all inside without doing anything?! They're all evil. All their stupid stories are nonsense. I will get what my father's deserve.

They keep on saying that everything happens for a reason. That time heals. I'm also an avid fan of those words but for now, I don't want to believe any of it. I don't know if time will come that the invisible tear will stop, If the knife stabbed my heart will get off or if what happens has it's own reason. It's been five months since he passed away. There's no night that I didn't think about him, there's no day that I prayed for his soul and for the justice to console him. Whenever I see a funeral, I keep on staring on the family who mourns but never expected to be in that situation, never expected to cry in sorrow for my superhero.

Tell them you love them as long as they can hear it. Show your care for someone as long as they're able to appreciate it.

Happy father's day papa! I love you so much! I keep doing good to make you proud, I'm waiting for the time to be in your loving arms again. I'm waiting for your proud pair of eyes to stare at me again. I am waiting to hear your not so funny jokes again. My heart is dying but I know you want me to get up. I'm keeping to stay strong for our family. Please do not worry about us, I am here for them. Time will come that the evil traitor who killed you will suffer under penance. They scream over the torture. They'll regret doing the crime.

Can't show other photos, I still can't look back hehe. I just can't. This is the only photos saved in my PC.

I keep on having a nightmare. I keep on dreaming about you.

~ Yhien

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Touching account of your dad. Nice that you have fond memories of him.

Omg. Thank you so much sir for visiting. Yes it really is, his memories will be forever treasured.

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I can't imagine the pain you are dealing with while writing this. It is really hard to lose someone so dear to us.

Thank you for sharing your content with #theluvbug :)

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@neihy05 i know that your father’s loss is very painful to you and to the family. Please stay strong and always bear in mind that we , your superfriends are always here to support you. I am very proud of you knowing that painful incidents makes you really tough! God is with you and with your family. And your dad is watching you up in heaven, please continue to make him proud by supporting your little sister and brothers. We love you and you know that!

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