I want to open the door of death and enter
What crossed my mind.
And my whole life flashes before my eyes like a film strip.
Who has countless friends and circles, and my dearest friend in life, and I want to talk to her about something.
But he doesn't pick up the phone.
My hand is going away, I want to open the door of death and enter. Actually, what is killing myself when I have been cruel to myself for a lifetime?
Of course, after I've been through many hardships in a lifetime, and that night, everything and friendship ends in one go, my dear friend.
So what?
While I believe that I started something by writing only, is our friendship ending just because of this?
Lots of medication on the table next to me: pain medication and my allergy medication maybe antibiotics or this one.
They are calling me.
I'm calling myself.
There is someone calling me from far away and I am still contemplating the possibilities of how my friend left me.
It's close to three in the morning and my mind is still on the meds on the table.
After all, I need a phone call that will cause my mother to read all the prayers I know and make her heart go down. Of course, it's not a good sign to call my mother at this time of night, but I feel like I've gotten away with it.
Abandoned and unhappy and at the height of my nothingness I know and believe that I have no reason to live.