I Hated This Movie So Much

The entire movie took place in a small neighborhood and showed every bit of its 18 million dollar budget. I had far higher expectations for a movie starring Tom Hanks right after "Big" and Carrie Fisher a few years after her "Star Wars" success.

The premise of the movie is that new neighbors move in that seem strange and a group of neighbors investigate them. That's pretty much the entire movie. I'll go ahead and ruin the end of the movie so you don't have to watch it. The neighbors are killers.

The movie can't decide what it is genre it fits in and winds up along the lines of an absolutely terrible Horror "Airplane" knockoff. It was about 140 minutes too long (that's saying something since it is 141 minutes long). I may have smiled for a total of one minute and grimaced through the terrible acting and slapstick comedy that makes up the rest of the movie.

This may appeal to those who enjoy lowbrow over the top comedies along the lines of a b-movie John Candy film. The one liners are terrible and far funnier in text than uttered by the pitiful cast. Here's a few "gems"

Art: Safety is my middle name.
Ray Peterson: I thought his middle name was Louis.

Mark Rumsfield: That really burns my ass.
Bonnie Rumsfield: What?
Mark Rumsfield: That old fart. He's got the best lawn on the block. And you know why? Because he trains his dog to crap in my yard.

Mark Rumsfield: Ricky, get this lame-o out of your yard.
Ricky Butler: [puts his arm around his friend] Get out of my yard, Lame-o!

The dog was the only character that made me laugh, but it got far too little screentime

This was my favorite moment of the movie. It actually made me laugh, but gave me false hope for the other 140 minutes this movie dragged though.

The part I related to was how one neighbor let his bichon poop on another neighbors lawn. I think the statute of limitation for being prosecuted for this defecation infraction has been reached and I can openly reveal this. I sometimes would do a fake scoop of the poop when I forgot a bag and still wanted to go for a walk. Hopefully none of my neighbors are on steemit yet.

How this movie was the number one movie during my birthday must show that it was the only movie in the theater on my birthday. Do yourself a favor and don't see this movie. Do follow the Bichon dog in this movie all the way over to a great movie where it stars as Precious in "Silence of the Lambs." A Bichon with quite a bit of acting capability.

Even if you enjoy awful movies along the lines of Troll 2 or The Room you will be disappointed. It's not bad enough to hold a torch to these gems. If you don't want to take my word for it, take a look at the trailer and decide for yourself.