The juvenile delinquents in my life (children)

I babysit an 8 year old (and her 9 year old sister) that I refer to as "E" in my ever increasing tumblr posts of her quotes. This kid has negotiation tactics that make the KGB look like they are on Sesame Street. E has swindled me out of 3 Hershey bars alone in the period of 24 hours. One was the King Size! I also found myself at Pizza Hut at 10:55 pm, despite my horrid distaste for this establishment (all pizza chains really) shelling out cash for her to get pizza. And, she thinks it's funny. She knows I know that she is besting me, and I think she lets me win once and a while to make me feel better. She is going to manipulate a lot of men out of a lot of money some day :-)

A few of her gems...

Talking to E's Dad: What are the kids doing?
E: tell him I'm eating chocolate and counting my money!

To me: You're a midget. A very tall midget.

As her sister L is preparing to leave the truck to be dropped at school, she complains about being “twenty minutes early” and having to “wait around”. Before I can say anything, E says to her on the way out the door “Hey next time take the bus!"

In a torrential downpour...
Me: See E, God doesn't want you to go to Subway
E: No, God is crying tears of joy that I'm here!

E: I need scotch tape.
Me: Why?
E: To tape my mouth shut, duh!

I think I'm going to start hitting the gym harder before this kid is able to kick my ass!