The keys to happiness in living together
In this article you will learn:
Illusion is the main cause of relationship problems;
Why and how to accept your partner;
Daily practice of the gift skill;
Thanksgiving practice to improve all areas of life together.
Relationships invariably connect two people, uniting them on the basis of common values, interests, internal and external correspondences, as well as comfort, respect, sympathy, joy from communication and staying together.
Initially, the need to have a relationship arises from a desire to satisfy one's expectations, aspirations. In our thoughts, we women scroll the prince on a white horse with a huge bouquet of roses racing towards us with an offer of a hand and a heart. And then everything is like in a fairy tale. Only for some reason the end of this tale is not at all interesting to us. After all, the beginning is important, and then, as they say, “We'll wait and see.” Men are good too. They have a clear conviction that their chosen one must certainly be of indescribable beauty (the rest are envy), a mistress (like his mother, or even better), a lover who satisfies all the whims, meek, silent and does not pretend to be anything. In general - the same, and only mine.
Our imagination in this direction works like a clock. We are looking closely, closer, no more relationships for a while. There is only one reason to know "But is this the character? It's the hero of my novel or a clown from a traveling circus?" Often it's "short" goes a very long time. We can't decide and make a decision. Why? Just somehow very good and flaws virtually invisible. And to take a responsible decision, we are not in a hurry. Time will tell, we think so. And it will really show after about 2 years of marriage will begin to unfold the flower – the "true" essence of the person and you see your man somehow becomes yours. And if you have managed to unite their bond official registration, and even to get a child somehow becomes sad.
Relationship in the ring
You think you made the mistake of not closely looking at the partner and now have nowhere to go from such a fate. The child is the connecting link in the chain of your relationship. He is growing and happy with their development both of you, life comes to normal.
Quarrels, conflicts, misunderstandings often develop on the background of "You should (a)" and "I want". Relationships begin to crumble at a moment when there is dominance or manipulation. Competition "Who is cooler and stronger" like a Boxing ring, you are waiting for the right moment to swoop in and make an impact. And not just blow and blow harder Yes, more painful. Life begins to falter, and you are looking for a way out. Often the output is not at the door.
Men looking for happiness in other arms, friends, drinking, assuming that the wife is not going anywhere. Women are trying hard to re-educate your wife, using sometimes sophisticated techniques. But nothing is changing for the better. Very soon the wrong thinking leads to the breakdown of relationships, which is accompanied by painful sensations, "emotional pain" and hatred. By the way, all this does not go unnoticed and is transferred to the next relationship. Why people who have been married several times, experiencing the same problems? And only by joining the relations in the third or fourth time, you begin to live more or less normally? The answer is – they began to realize something. Let's deal.
Do you want that. About Acceptance
Initially, a character appeared in our dreams - “ours” in all respects. What we received is not at all what we need. We understand this and persistently continue to resist our own choice. We do not have the realization that we cannot afford to remake and change another person. It's impossible! Never!!! If a person does not want, then no persuasion, provocation, fawning, physical manipulation will not help.
The secret is that one of the reasons that we observe in our relationships is that we want to see them like that and come to them. We are "comfortable" in a state of pain, suffering. Do not deny. This is true. The second reason: all that we do not like about our partner is that which is present as a hidden desire in us. We are afraid of this desire to realize, we cannot afford such luxury. Does your partner humiliate you? You want to humiliate. Is your partner walking? You want to walk.
Our “precious” ones are big mirrors, looking in which we see ourselves. Want a partnership? Take your soul mate with all the minuses, because they are essentially yours. The very realization of this will help you cope with negative emotions every time during family quarrels, misunderstandings and conflicts. Looking into the eyes of your partner, say to yourself, "My dear (my dear), I understand that you are my reflection and that is why I will calm down now." Checked. It helps.
The second aspect is giving
If our relations were built on the principle of “What can I give my partner to be happy?” Instead of “Does this person suit me?”, We would have lived in the Golden Millennium for a long time. The ability to give (give) develops in daily practice.
Try to remember your promises at the beginning of your relationship. Write down everything that you remember and begin to realize what you have not done so far. They promised to carry the spouse in her arms? Wear it. Have you promised coffee in bed every morning? Follow up. Start giving with the right motivation: “I want you to be happy (a).” Another exercise: try to understand what your partner wants and give it to him. Here we are talking about reasonable desires that do not contradict ethical standards and do not harm human health.
Perform the exercises unobtrusively and gradually. Do not loudly declare your desire to give. Do everything out of principle - do no harm. Do you want your life to be full of happiness and joy? The recipe is simple - make the other person happy. But what to do if the desire to give does not arise and generally wants to end these relationships soon. Finish, but before that, carefully read this article again. Observations show that it is much easier to maintain relationships than to build new ones.
Thanksgiving practice
The most valuable and important skill that should be mastered by everyone of the spouses – the ability to thank your mate. This is especially true of women. Did you know that thanksgiving is on par with blessing? A blessing is a powerful spiritual practice in a relationship. If we are talking about the relationship between husband and wife, the degree of the highest point of the relationship – the ability to be grateful.
Here comes the most important point: the question is "grateful For what?" and "Why should I(on) to do this?". The husband and wife are one, and together with each other. Get A Grasp Of "Thanks". The relationship has moved to a new level, we need someone who will make a move. Why not be that person you? Offer exercise, doing that every day, you greatly improve relations in the pair. The words in exercise designed for women, but if desired they can be easily paraphrased for men. Do the exercise in the morning or evening, reciting aloud or silently:
THANK you... for what you give my life meaning.
THANK you... for the lessons of acceptance and patience.
THANK you... for what you are, and every day I can learn from you and you from me.
THANK you... because you make my world complete, happy that he would never have become without you.
THANK you... for only with you will I be able to open up and to know that a full degree of love, feelings and acceptance.
THANK you... for the love, warmth and tenderness that I can muster as a woman.
THANK you... for what you show me, how I can love.
THANK you... for what you make me feel real woman.
THANK you... for what you make me feel can be very different.
THANK you... for what you give me the opportunity to be the sometimes weak and sometimes strong, sometimes cry and sometimes laugh.
THANK you... that worked so hard and cared about me.
THANK you... that worked so hard to please me, even when I don't appreciate your gifts.
THANK you... for what you give me the opportunity to develop as a person.
THANK you... for the harmony and warmth that you give me, which I realize is next to you.
THANK you... for the fact that sometimes you show yourself so that I have reason to respect you, to love and to be grateful for it.
THANK you... for the hurt feelings that have made me stronger and taught to deal with grievances, forgiving and accepting you for who you are.
THANK you... for the fact that sometimes you don't understand me and feel stupid, and I believe that create space for the realization of your mind. A wise woman is not ashamed to look stupid in the name of a Loved one.
THANK you... for the vivid experiences that I felt when you were courting me. They often allow me to bask mentally in the days of adversity and misunderstanding. I'm glad you know so romantic and touching care.
THANK you... I saw the beauty in me long before I saw it in myself.
THANK you... for your beautiful heart and soul.
THANK you... because you are strong and you protected me when I was scared. You so skillfully concealed his own fear, so I felt safe.
THANK you... for the children, because I became a mother and was able to make his way on earth as a Woman.
THANK you... because you're a Man and I a Woman. In this eternal harmony and Love song, which sounds in the Universe because we are near!
I sincerely wish you the pair reach absolute happiness.