Busy In Whose Business?

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Recently, I have been doing a lot of meditation. This has centered around my purpose in life and my reasons for doing things. I realise I'm not growing any younger so I have to plan a focus for myself.

One of the things that have interested me is the concept of being busy. Everyone is busy doing something. Everyone tells you to get busy. It seems the entire world places a premium on activity. I like that, as I'm a hyperactive person myself.

However, one thing I've come to ask is:

busy in whose business?

I mean, I understand we all have to be business but where we work, the endeavours we engage ourselves in also matter.

I Don't Want To Waste My Life

The reason I asked that question is because I'm scared. I worry that I've been spending my time doing the wrong things, making the wrong investments.

Perhaps this is just adulthood catching up on me, like a phase that would past soon. I don't think so though. I believe this is something I have to take very seriously.

I want my life to count for something.. I'm not talking about building legacies and all that (although I wouldn't mind). I'm talking about having something I stand for. I want to be someone I can relate to; someone I can define.

Purpose Versus Atheism

I call myself a Christian-Atheist (It's a long story). In any debate, I readily identify myself as a Atheist.

Atheism isn't exactly compatible with purpose - in the larger sense of the word. Purpose indicates design, design implies a creator. Atheism wants nothing to do with a creator.

Of course, I can get around this by appealing to the 'Christian' in me. I could say I believe in some larger purpose but not in a God. Unfortunately, this doesn't help.

I guess I don't have a solution for my predicament. This is something that features regularly in my meditations. I'm not bothered though. I believe that the act of thinking about a problem is a feat in its self. At the very least, it's better than doing nothing.

Besides, I'm only human. I don't have all the answers. Do you have an answer for me?