Wow I been away that long :) I missed this situation, now I have to pick information and see what is this all about. But, despite my lack of information, one thing is sure, you are great artist, and that's why you are great human at first place. How I know that? I red your post very carefully and thank you for sharing thoughts and being so honest. Rare treasure now days @reinhard-schmid.
Hahaha, thank you, but please don't praise me too much. I have my issues with myself, believe me! What I say and do, is simply based on life experience.
I was a real hothead when I was young. On the sub, our radio operator once said to me: "You always freak out right away".... immediately I screamed at him: "I NEVER FREAK OUT RIGHT AWAY!!!"
He just looked at me with a look of "point made"
Sometimes there is just a big difference, between how we are seen by ourselves and by others.
So, we live, we learn :-)
My respond to you was made upon exact impression of that life experience I felt in your post, and that's what i loved the most. That understanding of yourself ''then'' and ''now''.
And that's what makes you great to me :)
It's hard school of accepting ourselves.
Sometimes, from this point of view, I would like to come to myself 20 years ago, and to say, it's ok, and it's ok to be like that, it's no shame :)
Yes, we learn, if we want to :)
That is the KEY though @reinhard-schmid "LEARN" mistakes aren't mistakes if they are lessons for better living and personhood :)