ART EXPLOSION WEEK 10: Theme SELF  ( My entry: Digital drawing and Poem! ) 

SELF.

When I first stepped into adulthood,

I knew what I wanted for my life.

I wanted a man to love and love me back

A man to love and protect me.

I stepped into adulthood fragile and scared,

Looking for the man who would guide me,

The man who I would follow to the ends of the earth and back again.

A man came into my life,

Took my gift and used it maliciously.

Turned my soft and fragile self into a hard and unmoving shell.

He blinded my eyes to the wonderful gift I had to give,

And made me feel alone, scared and unsure.

In this shell, I stayed turning it into my shield,

So that nothing would hurt me.

A few friends  stepped into my life,

At first, I was leery,

I wondered what they wanted and how they were going to hurt me.

But they didn't.

They stood up for me, protected me.

I gradually let the shell begin to crumble and fall,

Beginning to emerge, and they were always there.

Catching me every time I would begin to go back into that shell,

They would gently pull me out again,

Making me feel safe with them.

And strength to do anything I wished to do.

Recently, I had to overcome a writer's block that almost destroyed my creative mind

My father, being my biggest fan, next to my friend that is, recently passed away

I had always gone to him and he took such pride in my storytelling and poems. 

I felt like that part of me, without his encouragement, would be lost forever ... Frozen

The frosted pane of loss obscured my view. 

Black ice covered the path that led to my future.

I dared not venture forth until it thawed.

So, I shut my eyes tightly, scared and afraid.

Retreating back into my cocoon.

Then I started to look at myself in a different way, feeling the fighter deep within myself regain spirit and strength. 

Slowly I started to feel the warmth again, 

breaking free. 

The beautiful butterfly within my soul, 

once dark and full of despair, 

Flowing into the world once more, full of hope and light 

Now, I've opened my wings fully, and I'm in the air,

I know now, he is still there, with me always

Watching me as I fly, once more 

When the winds of life come and blow me down,

Or I carelessly fly into something,

His softly spoken words will whisper to me.

And he will be there to gently pick me up,

being careful not to remove the delicate powder on my wings.

He will then again gently release me back into the air to fly again, with a loving smile 

To fly again right behind his guidance.

To fly again in his protection.

To fly again on the wings of my freedom, knowing he will always be near ...

I am, once more, a creative free spirit, sculpting, writing and drawing without worry, now. 

Feeling alive with rebirth and boundless energy  

I found a place to share it all, as well 

- Steemit -

And everyone graciously accepted me and it feels like a second home.

I am happy to share with my peers and it's made me empowered to create, even more.

What will the future hold? it's a great mystery,

yes, 

Come with me, please ... and explore ...

For the digital version I created this by hand using ecoline watercolor pens!
I made a picture of the drawing and turned that into a program!
What happened then is a little bit of magic! :D But to show you I really made it I wanted to share the hand drawn version as well in this post!