Hurt me and I scream love - watercolour painting with conflicted emotions
I don’t get it, I want to paint blood and shit, hurt and love, the sweat and smell, fluids, hairs, pimpled skin, and flaws. I want to show nakedness. The nakedness of an exposed body, of a raw soul. I want to proof that love and intimacy does not base on a flawless skin and the perfectness of a model body. Perhaps I want to proof, that I am desirable.
But what do I sketch? The banality of an outworn image: the slim, curvy female body bond into submissiveness. This sketch will not find its way on canvas. I don’t want to have this image in my head. Therefore, I coat it with more sugar, to make it toothache sweet. To lead it into absurdity, but a boring absurdity. The high gloss sexiness and neighbours dog begging for love which will not be granted. Erotic dying in a well illuminated peep-show.
I still want to paint blood and shit, hurt and love, the sweat and smells, fluids, hairs, pimpled skin, and flaws – I want to paint a loophole for me. I want to be loved.
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I started the initial sketch with the firm believe I will proceed with a bigger painting on canvas. Therefore, I did not bother to fetch a soft pencil or quality paper. I just grabbed my sketch book and started. But after finishing the sketch, I encountered so many conflicting emotions, I started to colour it. Firstly, I used super cheap watercolours, which I bought the same day for 1 Euro only because the box was so cute. This paint must be made from chalk because it strangely sucked my brush dry. So, I continued with my standard colours from Schmincke, which I really love (especially cobalt-turquois – I added this to my mini box, which contains now 15 colours).
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I emphasized some lines with black ink and tried not to cover all pencil marks from the first sketch. For the peep-show mirrors in the foreground I used elements of an older photo series (if you are interested to read about this very old and abandoned peep show, here you go: https://steemit.com/bwphotocontest/@neumannsalva/is-there-a-world-behind-the-mirror )
This is my contribution to @juliakponsford ART EXPLOSION WEEK 34: Theme EROTICA (again thank you so much for constantly reading all the art explosion posts and for creating interesting topics <3)
Wow, powerful message behind this art. I'm always impressed with your opennedness, it makes me feel instantly connected to you! I will write to you on Discord chat soon, dear @neumannsalva! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for your entry and looking forward to stay in touch!
And I always love to hear from you <3 And must admit, that I sometimes am frightened after publishing a post, if it was too much, too open, but you reassured me that it is not completely incomprehensible :-D For me the writing is as much part of the artwork as the actual sketch/painting/film/dancing... I really like to mix the different genres together.
Well, it shows, as you're writing has this really compelling, heart-warming and energizing narrative :) I'm still working on my narrative and it's fun to be inspired by you, @neumannsalva :)
Do you hang out sometimes on Steem Artists Discord Channel, friend?
Love,
Klaudia
I love your stories and you have a very distinct style I can recognize, which I love very much! But nevertheless, it feels good to be an inspiration (thankfully you cannot hear my constant swearing while I write ... or paint...or train...ahem, I really should stop swearing)
And with discord: No up to today I only used discord for Ginabot (which I gratefully learned from you)
Hehe my dear, if you heard me anytime that my sewing machine starts to kick, or when I'm riding a bike and le wild car appears trying to kill me, or even when I'm in a good mood and just feel like joyously swearing... I think we'd understand each very well :D I would love to meet you one day in person. Amiright to think that you're somewhere from Austria or Germany?
Love,
Klaudia
Yes you are right I am from Germany, perhaps the swearing is a (genetic) heritage of the north :-D
I love how you are able to express some of your rawness even if you aren't being able to paint as raw as you want.
Reading this brought visions of an artist, desperately sitting in front of the canvas, working endlessly to mix the perfect shade of blood.
I love your description, it could be a beautiful image (in a film or a painting) in itself. Only the killing part got me thinking...
As usual I love your explanation as much as the entry :D
As I wrote above to @shinyforest I feel like the writing is an important part of my artistic work. It is not important if I make a video, a photo, a painting, or a performance, I always want to add another dimension by using written or spoken word. But I am not sure if it is always an enrichment :-D
So, I am doubly happy to hear your positive feedback. Thank you <3