Sweary Stitches- A Small Resource to Get You Started!
So you're thinking about learning some new hobbies?!
Specifically some old lady crafts with a twist of modern snark and filth?! Well, you've come to the right place!
And even if you aren't ready to dive headlong into destroying the sanctity of old artforms, this is a great resource for when you are!
On my 21st birthday, I was taught to knit, got drunk, and destroyed my first scarf. It looked more like swiss cheese than anything wearable.
Since then, I had been deeply in love with the concept of taking crafts that are usually only thought to be done by the elderly and frail and making it... well, a lot more fun.
So far I knit, crochet (terribly), cross stitch, and embroider!
And trust me when I say, there is a huge movement making these crafts way more modern, sweary, nerdy, fandom filled, and relatable!
Now, I guess it depends on how you learn as to where to start. Also, WHAT you want to learn!
The Complete Idiots Guide to Needle Art and Crafts is an excellent resource for pretty much every hand craft out there. If it has a seam or a needle involved, it will be inside. Along with instructions, illustrations, and a hand-hold through every step in creating your first masterpiece.
The Cross Stitcher's Bible is a wonderful book for beginners. It honestly has any tidbit of information you'd need for getting on the road to offending your friends and family with pixel art atrocities! (Naturally, that isn't what the book was intended for, but rules are meant to be broken)
And if book learnin' isn't your style, take to Youtube for a plethora of visual instructions!
For knitting and crochet, I highly recommend TheKnitWitch. I started out with her videos and although they are boring as dog shit, they get the job done!
Sadly, she hasn't been active in about... seven years. (Chances are she very well could be purlin' in heaven) But her videos do stand the test of time and the information is relevant! There are 58 videos to peruse that show you different techniques and methods!
For Cross Stitch, I found this video by Peacock and Fig. This video is hilariously awkward but it does a pretty decent job showing you what you need to know!
You can also use my post from about 10 months ago! (Or, you know, ask questions if you need to!)
Crass Cross Stitching for Beginners by moi
And for Embroidery, these two videos by Handicraft are amazing!
(Searching for good videos has seriously got me considering making my own and putting them on Dtube, let me know if you would be interested!)
With these couple resources, you should have no problem getting your feet under you and creating something that would make your great grandma roll over in her grave! Or, you know, something pretty if that is your style.
A couple things before you start your journey:
1. Always, and I mean, ALWAYS keep track of what color floss/yarn you are using. Be that by putting it on a bobbin with a number on it for floss, or keeping the wrapper with batch number on it for yarn. This is a mistake that can ruin a project.
2. Failure is inevitable. Something will not come out as planned. Just don't let that discourage you.
I never did.
3. And finally, invest in good needles and items to keep them safe (magnetic needle minders, cases, soft cloth to roll them in, etc). The tools of your trade are sacred and you can never go wrong with being sure that you have the best to keep creating with.
The vomiting unicorn with "Fuck" needleworked underneath it mad me laugh, and made my day. Fantastic! Happy #NeedleworkMonday to you, @stitchybitch!
I love the subversive and snarky stitchers group on FB, your unicorn and Fuck fits right in! I haven't had a chance to work on my cross stitches lately, but I hope to do some this summer. Good to see other stitchers posting!
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STOPHi @stitchybitch... I recently bought some very cheap embroidery mini hoops so I'm on the look out to see what I can embroider on such small 'canvas' (no bigger than 3cm!) ... Thanks for the inspiration 😆
There is a bar here that has a naughty stitch n bitch group, but I can't remember what they called it. 😂
One of my co-workers made me this and it's one of my favourite pieces in the whole house.
It's the last sentence of the first chapter of the first book of The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher. It's in my top 5 favourite book series in existence.
Nice unicorn. lol.
I laughed at the thought of your 21rst birthday party. Alcohol and knitting, sounds like a wonderful time :)
It ALMOST makes me look forward to next winter when I make gloves for all my kids, at the local bar. Ive never done it before, but I saw a blog post about it one time, and have been wanting to do that ever since.
Happy NeedleWorking!
very creativity and funny art have great day 😉