Im sorry for a long story but its very sad

The disease is almost completely in my body.
Trying to eliminate my basma ..
Trying to eliminate my childhood ..
I have not completed my 20 years.
Except this disease has devoured my body ..
The pain started with a quick poke in my heart ..
And the pokes went on ..
And began the fits of pain ..
I suffered silently ..
No one felt my serious illness ..
I was patient with the disease ..
Hide it for their eyes ..
I do not want to be sad.
Nights passed and I cried and silently followed him ..
As the days pass ..
I began to feel that the disease was starting to move from my heart
For the rest of my slim body members ..
Until I reached my foot.
The dark circles began to settle under my innocent eyes.
The plains began to invade the child's life ..
I was hesitant to go to the doctor ..
But I got to the situation .. I can not bear the pain ..
I went and I expected what I would hear ...
Tired and tedious tests were performed.
Present to the doctor and confusion clearly on his life ..
He asked me how old you are, my little one
I replied .. I will complete my twenty years after five months
He lowered his head and fell silent for a moment.
Alan is twenty years old, Doctor
Ages in God's hands ..
But I feel that I will not complete it ..
The disease has taken over my body ..
Petite .. How long you know about your suffering and illness
a year ago ..
Who knows who your family ..
No one .. Only my books and books ..
Only ..
Yes .. I did not tell anyone .. so as not to live in eternal grief ..
I know ..
That my mother .. will be very sad for my fellow ..
I'm her only daughter ..
I have always dreamed of seeing me as a white Fustani.
She holds my children on her shoulder. . And they call it my grandmother ..
But Hihat ..
I feel .. my pain .. there is little left ..
But I still accept it in the morning .. with a bright face ..
And pinch .. and their captions ..
Because I do not want to feel any change.
I tried to tell my brother ..
But I found him busy with his equipment for his wedding ..
Come at night to my room exhausted ..
Sitting beside me on the bed ..
Tell me about his great love for the future wife ..
Tell me what he bought her gifts ..
And his surprise for a month trip to Australia ..
Tell me about his longing for this day ..
Which lasted only five months ...
How can I tell him about my illness? He is very happy
I want to kill him ..
As for my father .. I kept all my life shy of him ..
Although I always sneak looks at him ..
I love him so much .. and see my dog ​​..
I dreamed of a dream girl like my father ..
Do you know now, Doctor? Why did not I tell them?
So as not to live grief ..
If I told them .. Why did my brother prepare for his wedding ..
When I saw happiness radiating from the eyes of my mother and my father ..
30 years after their wedding ..
But love still surrounds them.
Doctor..
You are the only one who knows my illness after God ..
So I'll leave this box with you ...
It is a small commandment .. I wish to hand it to my mother on the day of my death ..
Petite .. What this speech .. God is capable of everything ..
My faith in God is great. If it were not for this faith, I could not.
So be patient on the disease ..
But .. the age ends and I want to write words for my mother to read after my death ..
do you promise me..
Well, give me the box.
Do not forget to take medicine ..
When will I order you?
Come on two weeks later. If you feel tired, call me immediately
Okay..
Welcome .. Thank you Dr.
I went to my house .. I was alone in my room ..
I took my medicine ..
I lay down on the bed to take a rest.
And the hours passed .. after hours .. The last moments ..
And opened the commandment ..
And read by Dr ..
Her villages and everyone cried with him ..
Read the words of that young girl .. Written by a beautiful font ..
I wrote .. for her mother .. I love you .. my mother .. I was my friend .. my sister ..
My mother .. excuse me because my illness was the only secret between us ..
But I could not tell you I had cancer.
I could not be with me and see my pain.
I could not kill a smile on your beautiful face ..
My mother .. I know I was envious of something .. I will tell you now ..
Your jealousy over your father's love for you ..
I did not see my life a love story match your love .. I was dreaming of a young man ..
Takes me in his arms .. and takes me love 30 years and more ..
But God willing, I will not complete my 20 years.
My mother .. Do not cry over my death ..
My beloved brother .. How much I loved you .. and loved our adventures together ..
How happy I was when I was with you and my friends were looking at you
Your fans ..
.. I do not want you to postpone your marriage .. but I have a simple request ..
I give you my name .. Shouk ..
My father .. my honor and my happiness .. my joy and my pleasure ..
If you know how much I respect you, how much love a heart has for you.
My father is an example of a wonderful father .. I will not recommend you to my mother ..
Because I know what is between you and true love ..
Dr .. Thank you from the depths of my heart .. To conceal the secret of longing