The dire hamster of north Lancastershire

robotlizzzrd (65)in #art • 7 years ago (edited)

Greetings earth friends! But beware...because some scary words are about to happen here, so don't say I didn't warn you, because such tremendous scariness might be outside of your comfort zone. So you actually might want to wait until you are not alone before you read this, or even maybe just stop reading and upvote instead k? I'm warning you, it's some pretty terrifying stuff. Are you ready for this? Ok then, moving on...

Once in the tranquil towne of north Lancastercestershire, there was the horrid legend of the dire hamster. Folks say that it was no ordinary hamster, in that it was actually kinda large and violent. So violent and large was it, that the terrified townsfolk dared not leave their cottages after sundown. Entire fields of livestock would disappear, because oh yes my friends, this hamster had a taste for blood...

In those days, you couldn't just walk to your local seven eleven and buy some blood, but the hamster's bloodlust still had to be appeased, so what were the townsfolk of north Lancashire to do? They could not survive this way, not with all of their livestock going missing...food was starting to be an issue...

In those troubled times, a champion was needed, and so the king sent a summons for the wizard. He knew exactly what to do! He brewed a delicious concotion of elderberry sageblossom bushes and dried figwart toadstools. He also threw in a pinch of pungent woolywoog roots for flavor, don't forget that part because it's important...

When the colossal bloodthirsty hamster besieged the castle, he hurled the elixir with all his might, and it landed right in the gaping maw of the dreaded rodent fiend. It....liked it! It totally liked it!

Now the evil scary beast hamster of south Licoriceburger is no longer a threat. In fact, it has renounced blood completely, and has gone vegan, requiring only an occasional wizard elixier now and then.

And the townesfolk lived happily ever after.

The end.