Work in Progress - Mosaic Self Portrait

I decided to make this for the Art-Trail contest. I have two entries, but I want to put them into the same post. I spite of doing self-portraits every now and again, I don't love them. I find it weird to stare at myself. It just makes me dissociate and feel more and more alien.

Not that I have a problem being alien. I don't like humans much as a group. I like them individually on a transient basis. I transit in and out of like often. I didn't use to be like this. I used to be bright-eyed and bushy tailed. The image of me I'm using for his self portrait is of that old me. A decade-ago me. A me who needed to be pretty and likable. Now I only dress up if I have to, I exercise minimally, to maintain health instead of beauty. I have to work really hard to feel empathy sometimes.

I had a brief 'discussion' with a contemporary on Facebook yesterday following a post I made about Egon Shiele, who by many accounts was an asshole. This person was offended that I find most of the aggrandizing prose in art history pompous, (I said it's worth reading, you just have to leap beyond it in your mind) they were offended that I said art is a business, and they were offended that I referred to Shiele's character in a less than flattering way.

The thing is, it means nothing to say art is not a business if you spend so much time and money as this person does on marketing it. They are posting online every day, have a membership at a gallery down the street from me, show at most of the shows I do, and enter into contests frequently to display work. If you don't think you should be compensated for the labour you put into your work, 1- why are you trying to sell it, and 2-you are disrespecting artisans entirely, who are driven to create more than just part-time and would choose not to starve.

As for Shiele's character, I think it's easy enough given modern media to agree that terrible people are still capable of great things. I don't know any more about him than what I read in his brief biography, but to abandon Wally Neuzil, who was his model and lover for four years through serious legal trouble, exiles, and other hardships suddenly to marry another woman earns you a quick F in my moral gradebook. Not to mention the disrespect he laid into his mother, who had other kids to support in a less than feminist time. I don't think he as a person is worthy of my respect. His work is beautiful, though.

Just because you made it into a history book doesn't mean your work is the best of its time, either. It means your business got backed by investors.

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