Ok, here is my attempt at wording...

Suffering from an accumulation of gas in the alimentarius codex...
One could just say flatulence...
Mystery Man 2 searched the vast realm of Nefeline for his
doppleganger, Mr. E2, the man who was his own father...
(how long?) How long had he known he procreated himself?
If only he had worn protection!

Finally, hungry and exhausted, he found a Talking Cat
who filled his belly with wise words...
It was then and there he was approached by a 'green' figure,
who was remarkably a paid corporate lobbyist...
Mystery Man trembled, finally asking: "Are you gonna tweet that?"
(who does Mystery Man 2 think the Green Creature is?)
The Mystery Man 2 sprouted a moustache suddenly,
so he could spend several agonizing moments twirling it...
Smells like Rhas Al Gore, leader of the Inconvenient Assassins!
Rhas Al Gore smiled and said: "I have come to neuter net-neutrality! To dopple your gangers and topple your hangers! I invented the internet! Come and dwell in my gethub city of prophecy... "

Mystery Man 2 knew this chance would only happen once every thousand moons,
so he acted without a second thought...

(fade to narrator in Morgan Freeman voice)