Listen

Image Credit by Unsplash user Calum MacAulay

My heart sits and wonders like a man pondering on overdue debts.
Having the leverage to think is not a bad idea - not in the right sense.

I'd sit and paint ideas in my imaginations,
Thoughts creeping out of my head,
Words flying and landing on a big field of lines.

I want to print these in the sands of time,
But my lack of esteem fights the zeal to fly.
I try to listen to my heart ponder - little less concerned about the debts.

Fear seemed to have engulfed my thoughts,
All I could see was a blur, suffocating the multitude of words.
Nothing could express my thoughts, at least not in the fashion I wished to.

I'd cry if I had the strength to,
I'd even sleep and forget life exists,
But my consciousness fought for its freedom.

All I could do was listen to my heart beat,
A Less Melodious, steady tempo with no rhythm - it lost rhythm with every ounce of doubt.

I could clearly hear my thoughts tip toeing,
Searching for a fertile ground to lay it's head.
Mine was dry and dusty - infertile in its best state.

At this point I could hardly even remember my name,
For it was lost in the thorns of wild thoughts and heart ramblings.
I shouted at the top of my voice, even I couldn't hear myself.

No one understood the battles I fought,
The fight to liberate my thoughts,
The fight to feed my pride.

No one understood my language, not even me.
I scratched out every surface of thoughts left, yet nothing real to present to this panel of white lines.
All I could do - all I did was listen,
Listen to the loud whispers of my head as it thinks,
Listen to the sad melodies of my heart beat.

In no time, my eyes called to my attention,
It could no longer wait for the party to end.
"I'll need to retire to my lids" it muttered even as it tried to keep its doors opened.
I smiled and succumbed to its call, like a maid to her master.
And in no time, its doors were shut and my thoughts were lost.

I fell asleep writing this. I was struggling to write something nice and good but nothing was coming forth so I decided to write about my struggle of not knowing what to write and how I slept off at the end.
However, I liked it and decided to post it, so tell me what you think.