Fuk-Tup Friday: Tumcat Saves the Day
Enter Tumcat
Have you ever found yourself sitting alone somewhere eating a sandwich as you watch people walk by just enough so they don't notice?
Does that sandwich ever make you think, just what in the hell is going on inside of my stomach this time?
Rumble rumble, gurgle gurgle?
Was it the sauce? Did the sauce go rancid on the way from the deli to your nearest special place of pleasantries? Is the sauce trying to ruin your little moment of enjoyable happy time alone with your new friend sandwich? Was it the lettuce bugs again?
It's hard to know exactly what could be going on inside that little belly of soon to be stink, so, let's have a look inside, shall we!
Your Stomach
Appears to be normal from back here.
Looks like the two blue elephant-like beasts are busy pounding each other, which is how the stomach usually works on a good day, so that's good.
The green man slowly melts as he points towards the duck, so that's good.
The duck stares at the green man while noticing his neck is turning into some sort of a cat-thing, so that's good.
The other green man down on the left waits patiently for someone to notice him, and that's good too.
What might that awkward, burning glow be though?
"That looks like the start of the bad day known as Heartburn!"
That's right! The little voice is correct.
Heartburn is on the horizon and there's no coming back, so, let's do nothing and give it a few more minutes.
Your Heartburn
As you can clearly see; the river of flowing giant vampire bat with a head for a right wing that pukes out a man who only wants to punch a hole straight through your gut has arrived. A sure sign of the rancid sauces of pain and destruction working together against time and stomach to create the feeling of hell gushing through the esophagus to cut off your fresh supply of only the sunniest of skies ahead.
It's now time for the fireworks to begin...
"Not so fast!"
What's That?
"Don't look at it, Mr. President! It might be an eclipse!"
That's no eclipse! It's Tumcat here to kill us again!Tum tum-tum-tum...
Tum tum-tum-tum
Tumcat!
Tumcat knows just what to do!
He springs into fast acting, rancid sauce smashing, happy better tummy fun time within seconds of being chewed up and swallowed alive!
It doesn't take long before hell once again starts to freeze over into some kind of bubbly haze of cloudy misfortunes and bad days gone forever.
Observe!
All better!
"Hooray!"
So, in the end, the loneliest eater of sandwiches in all the land lives to suffer another day and everyone but the Heartburn lived happily ever after.
Amen!
Sounds like you bought an expired sandwich from a space gas station worse than Sagittarius A. I try and avoid gas station food in general when I’m flying in Andromeda. Their minds are a little warped out there and don’t think expirations dates matter to food. Silicon life forms are just strange in general.
Now the biggest question is how did you humans find out about Tumcat? If I told him once I told him a trillion times stop intervening with the human’s gas. They will need that methane when the sun turns to ice.
Tumcats. So you can travel to outer space by taking Catacids so that damn sandwich will come in peace.
Hahahaaaa, shit, hahaaaaa. I could seriously hear that entire thing in a certain voice, tumtumtumtum, lolll.
Wait. Let me try one of the newbies lines.
Sir, I think this post had many fine arts, it had words that I enjoy too.
Tumcats. Providing wonderful information in relation to heartburn and nice posts too.
I went all out on this, found (I think) the original, haha, the freaking woman cop really does it:
Tumcats. Worked all day just to bomb away.
I love tumcat! I get heartburn from drinking water....nothing else causes it. I'm weird. Days I drink a ton of water I always need heartburn relief. So are they kind of like gushers fruit chews? You know you bite down into them and a gush of liquid comes flowing out. Not sure if I'd enjoy the tumcat brand if I got bad imagery of eating a cat with blood oozing in my mouth while chewing.
Tumcats. Like eating a cat in chewable tablet form but better.
Where can I buy Tumcats? Are they now available in stores near me? Do I have to call 1-800-TUMCATS to order them, and if I call in the next 30 minutes, will I also get a FREE pair of Tumcat-themed pajama pants? Please respond soon, because I don't think I'll be able to suffer another day without some Tumcats.
Tumcats. We didn't get rich by giving shit away.
I like your artist's rendition of an enraged stomach. Sometimes I get gas pains in the night after eating decidedly too many microwaved foods. In the foggy haze of half-dreams where nothing really makes any sense, sometimes I feel that I can see the pain... with my stomach's eye. It's that intense! It looks a bit like your heartburn-glow, but a more sinister reddish yellow. No, definitely not orange. It's red-yellow. Since I don't parake in mushrooms, it is probably the closest I shall ever get to synaesthesia.
It often takes me way too many iterations of the throbbing pain before I realise I need to wake up and fix the problem. What is needed... is a hallucinated feline visitor of my own, to prod me awake, and coax me to the place where I would proceed to do the required. I would call him... Dumpcat.
Tumcats. Enjoy them recreationally with Bob Marley.
Visual depiction of heartburn vs Tumcat is funny - like battle of heaven and hell (which, at times, it can feel like it is :)
At the risk of blaspheming, I will say that I've never hear of Tumcat (until your post). As a one-time frequent sufferer of indigestion/acid reflux, my salvation came in the form of the purple pill "Nexium"
Glad you're feeling better, Mr. @nonameslefttouse :D
Tumcats. Battling the demons of heartburn with angels that look like demons since 2018.
Ah, angels that look like demons & demons that look like angels—there is a metaphysical poem, here, to burn the heart...
Tumcats. Perfect for when yet another post does not trend.
Poor stomach! And Tumcat looks scary a bit haha...Freaking Heartburn always gets its way to happiness.
In the next life, I wanna be a heartburn! :)
Tumcats. The happiness maker for this life plus eight more.
Tum tum tum your imagination intrigues me. Your creativity inspires me. But the stomach... you must have a lot of time on your hands or a lot of food in your stomach. I enjoyed the post keep inspiring
Tumcats. The leader in inspirational posts.
Lol, I'm glad they were actually meant to be elephants. That was the first thing I saw as I scrolled down. My eyes are slacking on see the guys, but not the bat. :-) Love how the last one looks like the sun popping through a snowstorm. Your art is always hella-cool. :-) Happy friday to you. :-)
Tumcats. Making you see bats n' shit since the last time you stared at the sun.
Lol maybe the guy was wearing a vampire costume and the sight of the sun made him puke. He couldn't take the burn from it. :-)
Tumcats. Projectile vomit towards the sun no more.
Fuck off Heartburn! Best beware the random sauce bro... Good thing Tum-tum-tum-tum-tumcat was there to clear shit up... Does that mean you had the runs though?
Tumcats. Stops the running marathon dead in it's tracks.