I am a total misfit, Part 1
Yes. I am.
My job is take care of a man, I will call Charles. Charles is a man I met a few years ago who is age 65, and was homeless in Berkeley, CA - and had been for 40 years on and off. I don't know why, but most people were scared of Charles back then. Probably because he is tall, and he ranted and raved and rhymed. I wasn't.
Maybe it was because he couldn't take being homeless any more and literally there was NO housing. He and I and another homeless guy went over to the Berkeley city's housing assistance place and those people over there told us to go on Craigslist to look for housing. Wow!
That's how bad it was. There is nothing there - just shelters with short-term bed-bug beds - but really no hope for getting any permanent housing.
So Charles, then age 62, who had been homeless on and off since he was 21, was just done with it. Charles had had an accident at age 20 with LSD, which had landed him in Napa State Mental Hospital, and all the other drugs they gave him to bring him out of the trip, really screwed him up bad, and then his extended stay there, made him a "mental patient".
I guess in his eyes, I seemed to him to have some sort of solution to offer, so he lost some of his street bravado with me. I mean, don't get me wrong, Charles was nuts. He was whacked. He had a whole act that he used to keep people away from him, but I don't know - I could see his heart and it did not bother me. I think it was Divine Intervention for both of us. And - I am such a misfit myself that I took him seriously.
After all, I had going "home" to the Bay Area, from Denver, to try to get a "fresh start". I had been couch surfing and hovering just above being homeless for 5 years, after the 2008 crash. I had not been able to get a job, nor did I have unemployment. I had had a job as a professor of graphic design at one of those now-fake "art schools" in Denver - which are really just computer training places where kids end up with an $80k debt, and maybe some get a job. I had been an adjunct, and wasn't very good at it, so after the crash, I was not asked back. I had had a series of very bad experiences after that - first I lost my apartment, and put all my stuff in storage in my friend's basement. Next I had gone to stay at another friend's place, renting a room, and was just so freaked out by the whole situation that I made one misjudgement after another - which landed me leaving that place and sleeping on another friend's floor for 3 months. I had to find a place for my old dog to stay with Craigslist ads, but I was flailing around, not even bothering to listen to my gut, and things were bizarre.
No one was hiring. People were getting laid off left and right. It was a bad time. I took a job working for a crazy person because I had to - which of course, did not last. In the nick of time, when it looked like I was hitting the streets, another friend stepped up and gave me a place to stay - and I got on food stamps to help to contribute that way, and I got my dog back. After a year of living there, he decided to sell the place, and I had not yet gotten a job, so someone else gave me a house-sit for 6 months, and I got a part-time job vending grilled cheese sandwhiches on the 16th street mall in Denver for about 8 months.
Back then, I was still caught up in believing that finding Mr. Right was going to save me...so I had a series of heavy crushes... for which I have a series of paintings...been there done that - got the painting...
Unfortunately, Zen and the Art of Grilled Cheese, did not even break even, so my buddy went bankrupt, and I was again floating...
Then another friend, fearing for me going to the homeless shelter, gave me a house to live in that I was to paint the interior of in 6 months - but I stayed for 2 years. The house had no furniture. It had been his parent's house and had a doorway connecting underground to their house. While staying there I did freelance graphic design and designed alternative currency for another friend in Breckenridge, CO
These are all based on Ithaca Hours Local Currency, of course. My friend was able to convince the locals in Summit County, CO to accept Mountain Hours, but the one in Denver never got off the ground, and I am not sure, long term, what has happened to these other folks.
I limped along. Every Sunday, I went to a small Whole Foods which had at one time been a small local health food store, which still had the same staff, and collected old food for Food Not Bombs. It was me and a bunch of kids from the Mercury Cafe, in Denver - and we each got a box of food, and made boxes for our friends and then brought the rest to the Senior Center.
Finally in January of 2013, I realized I had to get out of there - those people were sick of me - they had only expected me to stay 6 months...and that old joke "How do you know if a deadhead has been staying at your house?" "They are still there" - was proving itself true... so I made one of my last stupid mistakes and moved to Longmont, CO in with my "friend" who said I could stay there for free.
Nothing in life is free - but I did not know what else to do. It did not work out. Again. Duh! And in August of 2013, I left for California...(to be continued)...
nice art. may you like my art too. please check it.
https://steemit.com/kr/@sharmin/my-art-8-village-8
@sharmin I read your post. Being an artist is not always easy. It is a calling for me - a spiritual calling, but I have not been very successful at it in the capitalist sense of the word. That fact, has frustrated me to the point where I have had to find other reasons to make art - like - I have used it to develop my psychic ability and to do readings and drawings for people. I have been able to sell those. I am a tattoo artist - and I am able to sell those. You cannot just rely on your art alone to sell, unless you are one of the chosen few - which I am not. I am not willing to sell my soul to sell my art - that would be an oxymoron - so, that is my cross to bear. Being an artist, has however, made me very sensitive. It has made me care almost too much for Gaia and her creatures - because I am, as yet, powerless to stop the machine that is killing the earth and her beautiful creatures and environments. But, I have to contain my grief and carry on. So in that way, Art is a spiritual teacher. Best of opportunities to you!
Thank you for sharing your story, I really 'enjoyed' it (In quotes as the story is really engaging, not because I enjoy the misfortune of others).
Definitely following you now, so I don't miss out on part 2.
I really like your writing style
Wow @schro! You are one of the cool kids and you like my stuff - That's neato! I just read your intro post and I like your writing style too - hey thanks for the comment and the follow - I have been trying to write this post for a long while but was just inspired to do so after reading @malicered 's post about losing his job and fearing homelessness - hey don't worry - as it turned out the story is not a story of misfortune - it was a necessary series of tests designed to burn off some burrs and build some spiritual muscle, as well as help a guy who really needs a leg up!
Huh, not sure what makes me one of the cool kids. But thanks, I appreciate it.
I had just read @malicereds post as well. I'm glad you decided to write the post and I'm very much looking forward to reading the following installments of it.
I'm glad to know (ahead of time) you have a positive attitude towards that time and see it as 'building spiritual muscle' that's such a wonderful perspective and something I very much admire in others as I often struggle with it myself.
All the best.
You are cool because - you've been on here about as long or a just a little longer than I, you have written some quality stuff and you have generated good discussion from your posts and had some really high-paying posts! I admire those things.
Beautiful artwork!
I feel for people in distress, but don't understand why anyone would be homeless in the US. I came to this country with no money and worked my ass off doing shitty jobs and learning the language until I finally got a nice one. If someone takes LSD or cocaine or any other drug, it is their own fault. Surprisingly he lived that long. Many people who work hard and are under the tremendous stress are dying in a much younger age.
You have a very big heart and apparently, that transposes into your work. Wonderful art!
thank you for your comment @mgaft1 - as I said in my story, I am a misfit. You are not a misfit. You did what you were supposed to do - worked your ass off and got ahead - I wish I could have been more like you. I try to practice the Law of Correspondence: As above, so below - if one suffers, all suffer. For me, I can't just look at people who suffer, as living the consequences of their actions so too bad for them. I know people suffer from spiritual and mental dis-ease, as I have, and they make bad mistakes and sometimes they want to make a change, but they don't know how. At that moment, when they are ready to make a change, I might be able to be of some help to them. I just have to be in the right place at the right time. For that, I rely on the Creator - to guide me into such a situation.
Very good post....I like it :)
thank you @foxkoit!
Reaaly amazing
thank you @mahaelsayed! I checked out your stuff - followed, commented and upvoted. I look forward to seeing more from you on here.
If there is no housing where you are the answer is to leave. If you are homeless anyway it is actually not that difficult. You need to be able to save a couple hundred dollars so you will need to have a job at least for a couple of weeks. In the end for me to escape I had to physically remove myself with no ties of any kind and I haven't gone back and I have a good life now.
Yes...@cqdx - stay tuned for Part 2. I would love to hear the story of how this all happened.
I'm pretty sure I know the cosmic character you speak of in Berkeley. We let him stay in a shed in our backyard for a while when I lived in Oakland if it is who I think it is. He is quite a character. That means you probably know many of my other friends/fam from out there and around the country. What a small world and a long strange trip it is.
Wow dude. Too much @jphenderson - we have a lot more in common than we knew before. You like the Grateful Dead. You lived in Oakland. You are into the occult...have you seen JRAD yet? (that's just an asside - I would not want anyone who loves the GD to miss out on JRAD...)
So kind of you to let that guy stay in your shed. You understand the Law of Correspondence. Some of the other people who have commented so far, obviously do not or have an idea that we are not all connected and that some people make grievous errors and have to pay for their results for the rest of their lives, with their lives...but that's why we are in the condition we are in today...because there are more people who do not feel a social responsibility to help others than do...
There are quite a few "cosmic characters" in Berzerkeley, as you know...so I am not sure it's the same dude...as you will see when I write part 2 of this story... I literally just asked him if he ever stayed in someone's shed and he said no one ever helped him that way, that he remembers (and that is a big qualifier because he has a huge scar on his back and he has no idea where it came from either) - but he did know a guy who lived in a large storage container on someone's property and he was envious of that cat... more to come...
You are from out there? Did you go to Berkeley High? I am from out there myself - I left in 1981 to go to New York City and attend art school... I lived in NY for 10 years, Woodstock for 25 years, and Denver for 11 years, with a few times I tried to back to Cali - once in 2003 and once in 2013, which hopefully was the last time.
I went to high school in Southern California but made it to the Bay Area shortly after. I travelled around for most of my adult life, mainly following the Dead but spent more time in the Bay Area and Northern California than anywhere else.
cool man we probably do know some of the same people. I wrote Part 2 but I did not get to what I thought I was going to get to...that will be the next installment.
Cool I will definitely read it.
Your artwork reminds me of Picasso...you are quite talented. Cheers @in2itiveart!
Thank you @bitcoinsky! I am a talented misfit - you got it! :) , there will be more about that in the story as it unfolds - All the best to you!
The art really adds to the story, I love it! I would be really grateful if you would look at my story and give me some advice, I love your writing style!
Thank you @lval115 I sure will... that is the artwork I did while I was going through this whole process so it does go with it.
It's really hard for me to imagine 'Charles' scaring anyone. He must have been very different then. I'm so glad he found you.
I will show you pictures. But mostly I think it was people just did not want to be bothered. I don't know. One time we got kicked out of a church that was called "All Are Welcome" - All are welcome, except Charles. Whatever.