How I Feel, Being An Artist in 2017
Part 1
(I wrote Part 1 of this post about a year ago)
Being an Artist...The Truth
Is anyone telling the truth about being an artist? I have done some searches and found only stuff from the materialistic world. Just a lot of "coaches" trying to make a dime and some artists who still think it's a competition or who are doing it alone thinking it's their talent…not their path.
The truth about being an artist, in my experience, is that it is a spiritual path; anyone can do it, who wants to - and the art, itself, comes from the Creator. God - the Ether - somewhere else out there somewhere which is also within the Heart.
When you know it comes from God then you don't question whether it's good or not, eventually, because it's not "yours" in the ego-sense. You also don't have much attachment to it - you know it's got to go out into the world - your the steward of it. You might admire it. You might feel good about it. You might be in awe that you were used as the channel for it - but it is different than an "ego" attachment because it's not that.
If you are given that gift then it's not yours to throw away or deny - it just IS.
If you deny it then you deny the Still Small Voice Within. If you deny the SSVW then, eventually, you will start being unable to differentiate "right" from "wrong" - and you won't get Intuition to follow and you will have to follow public opinion. If you follow public opinion, as an artist, you might not even be able to make art, which is the most torturous place to be in - you will be in another kind of turmoil - self doubt against your Nature.
The Artist's Life
If you follow the Spirit as an artist - your life might not be easy. It might be extremely hard. You might struggle with self-doubt at first for a long while before you perfect your particular voice and then later you may struggle with more self-doubt when your friends try to steer you toward conformity or they drop you for being "too crazy" or when they treat you as if you are doing something wrong otherwise you would be successful financially - or they tell you that you should follow the new age version of spiritual principles like those of The Secret, etc. At least that kind of self-doubt - of comparing yourself to other people- is short-lived and it only takes a few hours alone to come back to your truth.
As an artist, you might find yourself living in untenable conditions - say - without running water or with people who you have to really learn how to live with, who do not understand rites or responsibilities. You may live without an income. You may become homeless. You may live not knowing if you can pay your phone bill and your car insurance even though, somehow you have always paid them up till this point. You may live with all your stuff in the back of your car - again --- You may not have a choice about this. People may act like you have a choice, and you may know that you don't. You may try to get side-jobs, but you may be so much of an artist that your outer glow to the world makes future employers know that you can't work for them. You may do lots of therapy or self-work to try to make yourself fit in better and it may be to no avail.
Being True to Yourself
In the end, at least you are true to yourself - and, therefore true to the Creator. You might find yourself never making a living. Always being out there on the fly - and everyone you know sort of uncomfortable to be around you because you haven't taken a shower in a while - you are washing with a washcloth in the stream - and getting your clothes from the freebox. But at least you are true to yourself and therefore, true to God.
That is what it can be like to be an artist... and you do great art, and you don't have a choice about it. Everyone loves your art and they are often asking you what you are not doing to "sell it" or asking you if this is how you "make a living" - and it is - how you are making a living - although it does feel like you are lying when you say "Yes."
You may feel weird when asked these questions or when people offer suggestions of things that you have tried over and over to do and failed. People mean well in a certain sense and they are not comfortable not having an answer for your perceived dilemma. You make them uncomfortable - if you are an artist, because they feel that you should be able to succeed, or you should just give it up - the formula says you should and they are believing the formula - so you, an anomaly, must be doing something wrong. They need you to be wrong so they can be right and not question the formula and so they don't have to help you. Or perhaps they too are an artist, who was not willing to follow it through so they then have to be right about you and secretly or overtly hate you for being an artist, or at least make you wrong for not succeeding.
The consumeristic materialistic society denies that we should help other people. It tells us that we must compete with other people; that there is a finite amount of "stuff" and the people who get the 'stuff" have to work for it doing something they don't really like to do. This type of societal pressure says that the "unsuccessful" artist is a slacker who's ego needs to be reduced more so that they will be forced to "fit in" - and work for a living.
At some point, you will get over these questions and judgements - you will expect these questions and you will come up with an answer to them that works for you - like "yes, I am making a living as an artist." You will not be lying, it will be the truth - for you. You will long since have realized that just because you have no running water, get your clothes from the freebox and eat from the food pantry and food stamps - use an ancient computer and use an old phone with 3G and a cracked screen - you are living and you are making a living. You will realize at some point that the Creator is taking care of you whether you sell your art or not - which will then free you so that you can either sell your art for $900 or $90 or $9 - or give it away for free if you want. At some point you will realize the Truth...
Ageism
Whereas in the past you might have been able to get a job maybe now you can't. Maybe you are not good at teaching or framing or graphic design. Maybe you don't get along with kids or animals nor do you have attention to detail to help someone organize their office. Maybe you are too old and you don't dye your hair or get your nails done, so you stick out like a sore thumb in a world where only young people get jobs. Maybe you just can't work for anyone else, try as you might - because you are just an artist.
Maybe you won't succeed in this world at all ever and maybe your work won't sell till your dead. Maybe you can't take any mind altering substances to take the edge off because that does not work for you anymore, so you just have to feel it all and pour it into your art. Maybe that's just the way it is for you as an artist.
Being Free
Then what? If this is true ? Well - then you are free. You are free to live your life, trusting that the Creative Principle will take care of you and provide you what you need, you have a flexible schedule to do your art and expand, and you can help people. If you choose to view Art is a Spiritual Path, you can be kind and compassionate and loving to people. You have been judged mercilessly by society and tossed out so you can be loving to others and not judge them - you can know that everyone has their lot in life and are doing the absolute best they can. You can practice love and tolerance and you can make your life a life of service to human and God and to your art - because you have been there.
Part 2
One Thing You Can Always Count On...Change
And then... you get a $400 school zone ticket (driving 15 mph over the speed limit in a school zone) and you live in a big city where the CIA moved to under the airport in 2005, so it's the NWO city...the city that will be the center of the New World Order, once that is implemented...
So you have to pay the ticket. You feel yourself reduced to a pile of trash, and you get a job at Safeway making minimum wage so you can pay the ticket. Somehow the humility that it took to get a job, also gets you some stability and you end up getting a better job making more money...
Grace
then Grace steps in and gives you and a friend a nice apartment. All goes well for a time and you have found a group of cool people on Steemit who encourage you and you do your art and push yourself... and a few years go by.
The big box store you work at, finally finds a way to get rid of you - and they fire you from this job making decent money because they don't want you making that much money... and you get unemployment for 6 months... about 2/3 of what you were making but still it's ok. You live within your means...
Living As An Artist
and you go back to living as an artist again... you do tons of art during this 6 month period. You even expand yourself by doing live paintings... you find someone to help you market yourself and you push really hard to make a living as an artist, again... and you feel like yourself again for the 6 month vacation on unemployment... but - as usual, you were still not able to expand your client base or make money as an artist...and at some point you realize -
The Cold Hard Truth
you can't do it. You just CAN NOT DO IT. You realize. You know. You know that you just are not willing to pimp yourself to the public even to make art because when you do that, you drain your creative energy and then you cannot make art...
You have been praying for a different kind of job to come a long. You have been making sigil paintings to get a job you love...
and ... as you are nearing the end of the pile of money, having not been able to get even an interview the whole 6 months, you finally get something...
You get a job as a caregiver, where you are going to have to witness deeply sleeping people at the end of their lives who have succumbed to the system of slavery the whole time, and are now being eaten alive by the eugenics agenda that is killing them with drug dependence while sucking the money from their wallets through their insurance or the years they slaved away at jobs they thought defined them. These people are going to come back to earth again and again because they don't know that they are slaves and they are suffering from dementia and old age and side effects from innumerable medications and they are suffering.
You are going to be bathing these people and feeding them and helping them walk to the bathroom to change their Depends, and likely trying to raise their spirits...and you are going to be making a few dollars more than minimum wage... again, and not doing art as much as you were.
We are slaves
It's a slave system we are living in. We have been slaves since we were hybridized with our extraterrestrial invaders 400,000 years ago and we are still slaves.
We could be living here on this beautiful beloved planet working together, not using any currency but LOVE, and living on the land... but it is going to have to take at least half of us to wake the fuck up out of our sleep -
Karma
And if I was making a living as an artist - I would not know or care about that... I would just be haughty and self-righteous like the people I know who are. I would be happy with my velvet-lined chains. And instead, I am not.
Wow - now that was a post! - I'll be back tomorrow to give you a proper comment, that was really quite something - thanks for the insights
thank you! I look forward to hearing more...
I've written one but it's so long it's become a post:
https://steemit.com/life/@sift666/the-longest-comment-ever-posted-on-steemit
Upvoted for sure. Joint has depth.
Stay ILL x Give GLORY Beloved
🦄🦄🦄
thank you- I am going to look at your amazing work first thing tomorrow.
Yes, You are artist. Upvoted.
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thats a great art love it
Wow. That was amazingly expressed. I re-read it immediately. I can relate to so much of this, and through it I can also see some of the places where I got lost. I've neither been able to fully live my creative potential nor fit into the society, so I've been haunting this barren in-between space.
Thank you for sharing this.
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