The greatest movies NEVER made (part 4) - Nick Cave's GLADIATOR 2: CHRIST KILLER

herverisson (70)in #art • 8 years ago

OK, this one is a cheeky one because there is NO WAY this movie would have been a GREAT movie. It's even crazy to think that it could have been seriously considered and it's not hard to imagine the "what the fuck" face of Russel Crowe when reading such a crazy script. The title? "Christ Killer". No less.

First of all, let's remember that Gladiator's strength was that it was an old-school movie, a one-shot blockbuster without any hope or plan to become a franchise with endless sequels (thank God!).

However, considering its mega-success, it's not really tough to imagine the producers trying their best to come up with a sequel in order to milk the "concept" as much as possible. Well, it turns out that Russel Crowe had a buddy called Nick Cave. Rings a bell? Yeah, that one, the Australian musician.

Nick Cave is a musician but also has enjoyed a script credit for The Proposition by John Hillcoat. So, Russel Crowe dropped the baby to his friend. Your mission: how to resurrect Maximus Meridius, who dies in the Coliseum after slaying the mad emperor Commodus? Well, that's easy, as any fan of Dragon Ball will be able to tell you: just depict the otherworld... And that's it.

The story starts in a bleak and forlorn landscape. Maximus is liyng there, unconscious, and is woken up when two thieves try to steal his weapon and breastplate. Then, appears Mordecai. Mordecai is like his guardian-angel. Mordecai leads him to something which resembles a refugee camp, by the sea, where thousands and thousands of lost souls like Maximus are waiting for a passage to the great beyond (Elysium). He learns that his wife is there, somewhere, but his son is still in the world of the living.

[Extract from the script]

Maximus discovers a temple, where are 7 old men, representing 7 Roman gods, with Jupiter among them. Still powerful, but quite diminished, they agree to help Maximus if he helps them in return: one of them (Hephaestos) is mounting a kind of rebellion in the name of a Supreme Deity (the Christian God) whose growing popularity is hurting their power. So, Maximus is sent on a mission to find this Hephaestos and to kill him.

Maximus obliges and tracks down Hephaestos in the "desert". It turns out that this god is no better than his brethren and is on his last leg: his disciples have abandoned him. He tells him also that his son is alive, on Earth. And at the request of Maximus, Hapheastos sends the gladiator back to Earth.

Maximus arrives back in the Roman Empire, in "Lyons" (in Gaul), and the time (as we will learn) is 250AD during the Emperor Decius. He is back right in the middle of a bloodbath: Christians are being butchered by Roman troops. Maximus can do nothing for them but hacks his way through, flees and finds shelters among Christians. These Christians, impressed by Maximus, ask him to go to Rome and warn their leader about the massacre. Also, Mordecai is back and re-appear from time to time to warn and advise him. He reveals for example that his son is in Rome. So, Maximus agrees to join forces with the Christians and go to Rome.

In Rome, Maximus discovers that Emperor Decius is as bad as was Commodus. He plans a big Coliseum spectacle, with animals and Christians to be killed. He plans especially to force all the citizens of the to make a sacrifice to the gods, in order to find out who is Christian and have them arrested and killed. Maximus makes contact with the Christians and also with Juba, the former gladiator with whom he was so successful in the Coliseum. Together, they join forces and eventually manage to convince the Christians to fight. The Christian leader (Cassian) can't be saved, but his "adoptive" son leads the fight.

Maximus trains 200 Christians to fight the Roman way, and leads them into rebellion just the day of the massacre. The Emperor sends 400 men to quash them and the big climactic battle starts outside of Rome.

And this is where all gets surreal: the battle eventually recedes, and there is a jumpcut... To a battle in the Holy Lands between Christians and Muslims, with Maximus as a Templar Knight... Then, jumpcut to a battle in Europe in the middle-age... Then, another battle in Europe with machine guns... Then the VietNam war...

Let's hear Nick Cave in his own words about that one: "It ends with this 20 minute war scene which follows all the wars in history, right up to Vietnam and all that sort of stuff and it was wild. It was a stone cold masterpiece."

Calling it a masterpiece is really pushing it a bit far, however, you can't but drool at the idea of what a 20 minutes battle covering centuries of human warfare, linked by a single character, would have looked like on the big screen.

Let's also mention the epilogue: right after the VietNam scene, we arrive in a contemporary bathroom, right in the PENTAGON. Maximus is there, in a dark suit, washing his hand. Mordecai is behind him, faithful consellor, and Maximus then goes to a meeting with other suits about (probably) the next war. THE END!

That probably explains Nick Cave idea when he says: "I enjoyed writing it very much because I knew on every level that it was never going to get made. Let’s call it a popcorn dropper." And the reaction of Russel Crowe to the reading: "Don't like it mate". Can we really be cross with him about it?

As a story, it works quite well. I don't say that the story would have needed some serious rewrite (there is a feeling that it's still half-baked, especially when the name of the gladiator is Maximus MEridius and not MOridius like it is written in the script). The historical facts (the edict of the Emperor Decius about the sacrifice) give some plausability and depth to its story. Also, it is quite respectful of the former movie, with a lot of scenes evoking the fields of wheats where walks Maximus in all the glory of his dreams. But for me, the scene were there is a drop of wine which stains the toga of a character is an affront to Cimino's "The Deer Hunter" from which it was stolen.

So, in the end, the lesson is that some scripts are better left just the same way as some gladiators: dead in the dust.