Questions

Questions

• Frequently I would find myself not being productive in the task I assigned to myself. Be it some labours administrative activity or a challenging programming or editing one.
  Then it starts. It is not even proper doodling, just a bit of scratching here and there on the lonely blankness contradicting my congested mind.
  Somewhere along the line it transforms into sketching and before I know it I am actively involved in the task at hand, trying to get “it” right.
  Why does my concentration dwindle so much? Why am I so absent-minded? Why can’t I apply such devotion to my studies, to my job?
  These questions haunted me during my varsity days…they have returned with force. Sometimes I manage to elevate some of that internal pressure by hammering away on the piano giving voice to the frustration in my mind.
  Sometimes it fades to but a lonely tune that doesn’t lull the infant to sleep but rather frames a young boy in front of a window, not looking to play but rather to explore.
  It’s the questions that guide me. It is when I stop asking that I become stagnant and start to rot like a still pool full of decay.
  My curiosity will eventually be the end of me…but I’m asking through pictures and music and stories, asking: Lord, what more?