In The Studio: Day 4 .. The Slump
Just so you know my 'days' in the title are not sequential just a good way to name these posts as I take you through the process of this new album. Making an album for me is all one endless day anyway
The Slump after The Fall
The fall and the slump are two different states of being for me during recording a long project. The fall for me happen after day three. I didn't write a post about it cause I was eating ice cream all day in bed. 'The Fall' is the few days after the first sessions, when I got back in my house and am just depressed. Not really sad depression. I call it energy-depression, where everything is boring to me and I'm not sure what to do with myself.
In some of the more multi-fasicted large projects I do; I expel mass social energy beyond what I actually naturally produce. I'm such a Isolating nature that if it were not for certain people in my life, I really might never be seen or heard from again. My idea of the good life could take place inside one small 9x9' room with a rare trip to the book store or to get fried chicken gizzards for a special occasion. (A special occasion would be acquiring a new criterion film on blue-ray). I can be incredibly boring on the outside, all the fun is on the inside.
The slump (in the past and present) is after I've listened to the sessions thoroughly; maybe tried some work on them and just feel like quitting music all together. Or sometimes, I'll tear off in a whole other direction, start a whole new big project that has nothing to do with the trajectory I'm on. Both are a part of the Slump. Sulk in self pity, or Create endless distractions so I'll never have to face finishing one and it FLOP so hard that my grandchildren are still giving it a thumbs down. My friend who is on the road a kazzelion days a year calls it his once a month musician period.
Reality. really? What the fuck is Reality
In a Slump you can come dangerously close to seeing your reality. There is nothing more dangerous than an artist looking at their reality. Especially when someones telling them.. "hey babe, you gotta look at reality here...babe." When you run across people like this–First run ... then run further. And, not just other people, but from yourself, when you catch yourself saying that–to you.
It's not that I don't think there is A reality. I just don't think my perceived reality represents the ultimate reality. I don't trust what I see through these eyes and hear through these ears. I trust what's inside. I don't think that there is a soul on earth that knows what that king-reality is. There is the material reality, which for most works just fine, then there is the unseen/unknown reality. An artist that doesn't want to reduce her creativity to closet and/or office hobby/career status must live in the immaterial reality. Material reality is death to the artist. Because it looks bad, real fucking bad, from the perspective of the ground. And when it looks good, you damn sure know your feet aren't on the ground. So best to stay up there.
Back to Reality
In the nuts and bolts of my slump.. in other words, whats really churning in my head are just normal things that feel like the end of the world. Like a few tracks seem like they might be too slow, or too fast. No big deal. But it gets me thinking.. well shit. So i got to get the whole band back down there, a camera person because now the videos won't be in sync with the take, put them up, buy food, pay the studio dues, Magically Schedule the studio and a whole group of others all on the same day without it turning into next year.. blah blah.. blah ... See then it all feels like Armageddon now. Just a few songs being a little too slow.
There are other concerns.. but you just got to have faith. Seems like I heard that before. We just tinker away... the small builds the big.
I did have a few successes: Scheduled the cello and violin and got a first payment to them. Got another publisher pushing my wares. And, I am working on the funds to book Austin for the drummer and fiddle–my plan involves me selling my corrupted alcaholic liver on the deep web for bitcoins.
Drumm roll... badbabdbabdab .. flop
The plug in the drain pipe right now is really my live album that's in pre-release. It's effecting my confidence in making this one. In all my fucking years I've never had such a glum response when releasing something. I want to think people just don't care about live albums. Is that true? The other part of me thinks it was just a big mistake, and I always knew it was. Some artist get away with the very gritty dirty live recording thing, like one of my favorite artist Nick Cave. Yet another part of me thinks it's because I put a naked girl in the video of the song about God.. and i been getting some cold replies on that one. Though many Christians voted for bush, apparently they don't want bush in their gospel songs. .. my bad.
All Photos by Siouxise EVC Photographer.
I'll keep writing no matter how good or bad this reality seems to be until the final day o release of this album. So keep along. Have a good day! and..
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