Yūgen: Chapters 1-6

Yūgen: "An awareness of the Universe that triggers emotional responses too deep and powerful for words"

Emergence

Back into 2010, I created my first rainbow piece. The basic idea was to create something that expressed an in-depth catalogue of my experiences here on Earth. I did this by seeing myself like a prism of perspective absorbing the Omniverse and then refracting it into colour; Creating a spectrum of my experiences and interpretations, expressed honestly and thoroughly through an illusive and chaotic trail of breadcrumbs, puzzle pieces and quotes.

Once done though, I soon realised that they had became much more...

I would find myself staring into them and having silent conversations, learning more about myself and the world I perceived...

It felt as if my art had come to life...

Chapter 1: !
it all started in a small dingy flat, windows clad in random patterned bedsheets, stains and cigaret burns on the floor, art, music posters and doodles covering every inch of available space and that lovely smell of cannabis hanging heavily in the air. Home. My first home. Friends would roll through like a constant river of entertainment, playing halo, getting high and chatting random shit till the wee hours. Occasionally, while lost in my doodles, I wouldn’t even know who’d been coming or going. Lost in the haze.

Chapter 2: Odd
Once everyone left, I would find myself, alone, pondering upon society and philosophy. Listening to the likes of Devin Townsend, DSHS and Gorillaz I spent my nights researching the most pointless things, completely useless to everyday life, but which captivated my mind and fuelled my imagination until sun rise...

Chapter 3: 23
Sex and love, the ultimate drug… I was hooked.
Somehow at this point I was still with my first love, but things had been bad for a while. Growing further and further apart, while still clinging onto the dreams of the disney happily ever after…

Chapter 4: Even
The balance of life was way out. Drinking, smoking and fucking about well too much. I had no direction, no career, no purpose. Yes there is two sides to every coin, but I had spent mine on vodka. Screaming in silence, trying to erase all that I had known.

Chapter 5: Perspective
Friends and family would always bring that ray of light into my life though, enabling my depressed negative head-set to try and see things from an others perspective. Reminding me to be thankful for all that I had. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without them.

Chapter 6: !?
Then there it was… staring back at me… six pieces of chaos, created in a mash of confusion. Reflecting my all. Created by my hand, but not by me…

The following years were filled with so much pain and agony. Addicted to multiple substances, bouncing through rebounds, riddled with debt, destroying myself and all in my wake.

Going mad conversing with my art...