BEASTLY TALES - VOLCANIC ERUPTION
Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.
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(As with Beastly Banter Beastly Tales is written and illustrated by Richard Hersel.)
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Richard Hersel
BEASTLY TALES
VOLCANIC ERUPTION
I was riding my horse, that’s where I was,
Why was I riding? Just because, because
It was a summer’s day, ever so fine,
Riding that most beautiful horse of mine.
We cantered up hill, and trotted downdale,
The beauty of the countryside never did fail,
To make me gasp, with appreciative awe!
The most wonderful vista you ever saw,
We came right up to farmer Joe’s fence,
There he was, in his paddock, looking immense.
If anyone could put a blight on the morning
It would be him, and with no warning.
A grumpy old coot of massive size.
Those avoiding him were thought to be wise.
Farmer Joe called out with consummate ease,
“Stay away from my fence, if you do please!”
“I don’t like visitors, they leave a mess,”
“And I like trespassers even less!”
“I always keep my shotgun very handy,”
“To discourage interlopers, like you, you dandy.”
“So, unless you’re busting to be shot in the arse,”
“I suggest you about face and chew some grass.”
“Yes, get your horse’s hooves to kick up some sod,”
“And make tracks away, you stupid clod.”
Well, can you imagine someone being more rude?
Inhospitable, displaying attitude crude?
We turned on our heel, and rode away,
Determining to leave, and away to stay.
But I could not resist writing a letter,
Not to score points, or make one better,
But to point out to him his status as miserable sod,
And to keep him in no doubt, as to his being a clod.
Farmer Joe responded in kind,
Suggesting that I had lost my mind.
I could then see that such exchanges would achieve nought,
So I decided to arrange a quite different sport.
On Farmer Joe’s behalf I invited the ladies C.W.A.,
To Farmer Joe’s house, to spend the day.
This included lunch, with all the trimmings,
And plenty of wine, to overflow brimmings.
“No need to R.S.V.P. Just turn up,”
“And of good cheer, we’ll enjoy a cup.”
The day for such festivity did arrive.
And a mini-bus carried the ladies up Farmer Joe’s drive.
Farmer Joe carried his shotgun to the front porch.
His raised temperature enough to scorch!
“What the tarnation are you doing here!”
“We’ve come to take luncheon, with you, my dear.”
Of course, this was enough to make him explode,
“You’d better get back in your bus, and hit the road!”
These ladies were all sensitive souls,
Not used to being screamed at by ghouls.
Their spokesperson, one Emma Buttercup,
“You invited us, and here we are, with you to sup.”
“That is to say, have luncheon with you.”
“But if it is now inconvenient, out of the blue,”
“We will retire, with our usual good grace,”
“And leave you alone, in your own dumpy space.”
Farmer Joe looked quite taken aback,
For, although a civil attitude he did lack,
He was never short of attitude, with which to attack.
“Gadzooks!” Said he, face glowing magenta,
Ears emitting steam, like a volcanic venter.
“If for a free meal, you have come to my digs,”
“I’ll provide readily for you, when I feed the pigs!”
With that Farmer Joe did suddenly expire.
Dropping down dead, in the pigs mud and mire!
Hello Richard,
I was reading through some of your poems. They are quite catchy and I was smiling along. In fact, I had so much fun that I recorded this poem of yours. I uploaded it some minutes ago on youtube but will immediately erase it from the public when you don't want it to be read by me. I am practicing to read out loud and get some milage in making audio tracks. I am German and love the English language a lot. So, if it pleases you, I would be delighted. If not, just give me a notice and I shall be fine, too.
Have a good day,
Erika
Thank you for your superb rendition of Volcanic Eruption, by all means please keep it on YouTube. Your welcome to do others please let us know.
Thank you! Appreciate, that my reading was to your taste.
I'll search more poems from you and I'm sure one or the other will inspire me to make an interpretation of them. I'm glad I found your blog. Do you otherwise have a wish which of your poems you would particularly like to have set to sound?
Hello Erika, here are some for your kind consideration: https://steemit.com/art/@beastlybanter/beastly-tales-smell-the-roses
https://steemit.com/art/@beastlybanter/beastly-tales-tempus-fugit
https://steemit.com/art/@beastlybanter/beastly-tales-a-question-of-age
https://steemit.com/art/@beastlybanter/beastly-tales-be-kind-to-animals
There are 4 for you to consider. I'm biased, I like them all! Choose any you wish. Kind regards Richard.
I will let you know how this one strikes me, after I wake tomorrow morning :)
That was a delightful rendition--but way too short!! I need more to lull me. I'll have to send you ideas :))
laughter!
This one was not supposed to lull you. :)
Please, send me ideas, I would be grateful.
Would you like me to read one of your articles? ... Just brainstorming here...
I'll be looking--not my articles. Not at all. So much rich material to choose from. Give me a day and you'll be inundated :)
Right on! :)
OK, so I upvoted because I didn't see 16 days--what a waste! But not the time I spent reading your poem. The poem had the feel about it of The Cremation of Same McGee. This is the sort of piece that flows from you I think, as you chuckle to yourself. It must have been a delight to write, and to edit. It was a delight to read.
The Sam McGee poem is excellently written with a complex rhyming pattern. Thanks for your comment.
I heard it first from my sister, when we were in high school (she 14 mos. older than I). I won't admit how many years ago that was, but your poem brought it back. I don't know why it did, but the wonder of writing--of art--is that it allows us to make connections across time and culture. Your poem did that for me. Gave me a moment of nostalgia, and a chuckle.
try to make it as soundtrack of your voice and upload it on dsound or dtube :)
I'll look into it. Thank you for your suggestion.
Upvoted.
Thank you.
That really awesome
Thanks for your comment.
what, ok, the important here if you will try,
Thanks for your comment.