BEASTLY TALES

THE SHOOTIST

It is given as fact that gunfights you saw,
That is, that two would stand and draw,
In Wild West towns of history,
Building a legend, yes, a mystery.
Were commonplace, a western clutter,
Reach for those guns, so they could stutter.
Towns such as Tombstone and Durango,
Gun toters, drawing and firing, a Fandango.
But study of history suggests this to be not so.
After all, such behaviour would show,
That such actors would have suicidal aims,
Undertakers would encourage such games.

Yes, Hollywood, these legends did create.
To increase donations on the Moving Picture Plate.
Harken back to early duelling days,
Their flintlocks so inaccurate they did amaze,
Fast forward to Wild Western times,
With weapons like Colt Peacemakers primes,
Such were significantly more accurate than flintlocks,
Those duelling in the Wild West were in for some shocks.
If gunslingers had routinely duelled,
The mortality rate would have been considerably fuelled.

There would have been an even greater howl,
At the Gunfight at O.K. Corral.
A whole lot more survivable fun,
Could be had with a Derringer. A hideout gun.
Yes, scores could be settled, without leaving the saloon,
No need to stand up to a gunslinger baboon.
And whilst it could be thought unsporting,
It would have been far more effective, if chaff you were sorting.
To whip out a Derringer, shooting to kill,
Before any retaliation, your blood could spill.

Boot Hill may not have needed more land,
While Undertakers’ shops would’ve been less grand,
Had the Derringer been weapon of choice,
Folk, over card games, would keep a low voice.
There were, of course, many other Wild West guns.
All of them designed for “get the lead out” funs.
The name for their shooters, if you get the gist,
Could be fairly designated as the SHOOTIST!