BEASTLY TALES

THE SAFARI PARK

Oswald’s other initiative that was not to be,
Was a sign “Pommies on bicycles admitted free”.
Oswald, his enthusiasm dampened, felt hurt,
But he remained, to new ideas, constantly alert.
He next wanted to sell bags of meat,
To folk so that they could give it to lions to eat.
Again, the management alertly foresaw,
That people holding bones for lions to gnaw.
Might really not be for the best,
Not approved in a “health and safety” test.
Another innovation that Oswald suggested,
Was to take lions, after their food they’d digested,
To hospitals and nursing homes for patients to interact
Always ensuring they remained intact,
That is to say, with all their legs and arms,
And any other pieces, contributing to their charms.

Yet another innovation that Oswald tried,
Was holding weddings, yes groom and bride,
Close to where the lions liked to snooze,
With plenty of nice food and cold booze.
The lions, of course, could lick the dishes,
They would find unusual tastes delicious.
And when it came to the giving of speeches,
Lions could generate some interesting screeches,
From those staying a little to far,
Next to the alcoholic drinks bar.
Most popular, with the younger set,
Are weddings most unusual, with a lion pet.

Photography would be a big draw,
The finest lion pictures you ever saw.
Little children could sit astride,
A maned male lion amongst his pride.
There was no end to Oswald’s innovative thinking,
Lots of people actually thought he’d been drinking.
There seemed to be good money to be made,
From lion interaction, providing folk paid,
Before they actually, the encounter began,
Of such an experience, all would be a fan.
Oswald decided that closer to his lions he wanted to be,
So he took to having his evening tea,
In the lion enclosure, next to the pride,
It all went well, as his time he did bide.
Until one morning it was found,
That his hat and boots were on the ground.
Were those items found that morning?
A wake up call, an insidious warning?
That it may be safer to leave lions on their own,
Especially if, like Oswald, you’re disaster prone!