BEASTLY TALES

THE GENEALOGIST

Orson Obfuscate studied pedigrees,
He could tell a person’s lineage by their knees.
If, when they came down from the trees,
Their knees and knuckles did bang,
Chances were they were part Orangutan.
This simian gait of many flunkeys,
Gave rise to their being confused with monkeys.
Also in a tropical climate,
Churches would have a primate.
A pre-eminent clergy, rather than an ape,
Which could well cause people to gape.

We are quick, now, to point right out,
That an ape is an ape. A lout is a lout.
Apes we do not want to denigrate,
Noble creatures whose reputation well inflate.
Some people look and act like chimps,
Although chimps rarely look like fat blimps.
And those, they say, who look like loons,
Are often said to be Baboons.

Orson Obfuscate despised such chatter,
Only of serious matter would he natter,
For example, should you enquire how he felt,
About the lineage associated with the Celt,
He’d bring in Irish, Scottish and Manx,
And with some encouragement and thanks,
Breton, Cornish and certainly Welsh,
And researching in those wet countries he’d squelch.
Always looking, always searching,
Always studying and researching.

Now Orson wondered about himself,
He was short, did he come from an elf?
He admired the Irish, and so was torn,
As to whether he may be part Leprechaun.
He had a talent for Scandinavian language
Norwegian, Danish, Swedish, included,
And a fishy aroma, he always exuded.
So could his antecedents include a Troll?
If that was so, it would be somewhat droll.
Perhaps the answer lay closer to home,
His granddaddy may well have been a Gnome!