BEASTLY TALES

THE FIRING SQUAD PART 4

You will recall that El Presidente had a huge cigar,
It was the absolutely biggest he’d had by far.
“But that will take many hours for you to smoke,”
“And who knows what health issues you will provoke.”
“Come on now, let’s get to the matter in hand,”
“Against this post, you must now stand.”
El Presidente began to look unruly,
“You are usurping my rights, I tell you truly.”
“Consequences there will be, if you do that,”
“Those are the facts, and that is that!"

Now the presiding officer looked deflated,
While El Presidente look marginally elated.
“This has gone on quite long enough,”
“You must be shot! I know this is rough.”
“But the Coup Leader has proclaimed,”
“That for all your misdemeanours you will be blamed!”
“And because, to higher office, I do aspire,”
“I am now quite ready to shout, “Ready, Aim, Fire!”

“Come now, let us not be too hasty,”
“My now, this cigar is indeed most tasty,”
“What now, do you have to lose,”
“If to delay, you do now choose.”
“You should remember history, yes you!”
“It’s only weeks before there’s another Coup!”
“And, who knows, when that does occur,”
“You may, again, have to call me Sir!”
“Should you shoot me, there’ll be no promotion,”
“To reward your unflinching, fine devotion.”
“Far better to allow me to finish my smoke,”
“And to consider this Firing Squad a big joke.”

The presiding officer was betwixt and between,
What should he do to keep reputation clean?
The Coup Leader might not be in power for long,
And El Presidente might not be wrong.
He’d survived a COUP D'ETAT before,
He’d survived many years of smoking, what is more!
Cuban cigars of an extraordinary size,
Nicotine intoxication had kept him wise.
“I could keep a foot in both camps,”
“Hedge my bets with ON and OFF ramps.”
“But what do I do with El Presidente right now?”
“If this is discovered, there’ll be a big row!”
“Perhaps in his coffin, we could keep him,”
“Until things return to normal, proper and prim.”

“Keep me in a coffin for days and days!”
“With your stupidity me, you do amaze.”
Said the presiding officer, “Like it you do not,”
“But the only other alternative is that you will be shot!”
For once El Presidente did listen to reason,
He would like to escape this Firing Squad season.
“But how, in a coffin, can I, my cigars, smoke?”
“Thought the lid my El Grandes would poke.”

“This problem, on no account, would exist,”
“If you were dead. It can be arranged, if you persist.”
So El Presidente was nailed in a coffin,
“We’ll have to open the lid, every so often,”
“So that he can breathe some fresh air.”
“Apart from this, no-one will know he is there.”
Later, they drilled some holes in the lid.
One for food and drink, and anything else he did.
And so, a new routine began to play out,
Awaiting the next Coup, never in doubt.